Personality type/compatibility

Hi twoten,

ISTJ is from Myers-Briggs personality tests, which describes 16 personality types.

Thanks Michael, I just discovered also that it's called "typology". Learning what type I am wasn't the best of news , but no great surprise either.

Hi twoten,

A few comments on the Myers-Briggs - firstly no one typology is better than another, they are just descriptions of types. You might also find that you come up with a different typology on a different test - there are many online tests based on Myers-Briggs. I've done a few and come up with slightly different results!

The results from the test can appear quite black and white - for example: either Introvert or Extrovert, but there is actually a whole range of shades in between, and some tests show the 'score' within that range.

The personality profiles are just snapshots, of where you are now, you can change if you wish.

The personality profiles are just snapshots, of where you are now, you can change if you wish.[/quote]

Micheal,

Are you implying that I can change my personality, or do I miss your meaning?
As an adolescent I was considered very shy, which I suppose was actually introversion. None the less, being that I'm in the Autumn of my life I don't expect that it would be possible to become another personality simply by wanting to.

Hi twoten,

I think one of the dangers of these types of tests is that people say things like 'The test shows that I'm and introvert, and that's why I'm shy'. Actually the test is just giving labels to our behaviour and preferred ways of operating - they are descriptive not prescriptive.

So the question is can you change, I guess from what you say you'd like to be less shy, more outgoing.

You say that as an adolescent you were considered shy - Often people develop shyness as a protection - avoiding contact with people avoids the risk of being hurt - and it's effective at that, but there's a price to pay in not having close contact.

It's a bit like deciding never to be rich, in order to avoid the risk of knowing what it's like to lose a lot of money.

People can become less shy, by learning to feel more comfortable around other people, and being happy with some uncertainty about how other people respond.

Can you get this simply by wanting to? Well wanting to is the first step, then being clear about what you want, and then taking appropriate action to achieve it. This may mean occasionally stepping out of your comfort zone.

You might find this on Overcoming Shyness useful.

Hi folks
This thread raises some interesting questions, doesn't it? Should we believe the labels that tests give us? Who designs the tests? How would the test setters score in other people's personality tests? What bits of us that make up the complex being that makes you 'you' and me 'me' are they actually testing? Are you the same person all the time and every day? I know that I'm not. People who only know me from various situations could quite reasonably describe me as introvert, extravert, generous or a sour old bag! It just depends on what's going on in my life at that particular moment.
What worries me most about letting strangers decide what I am is that I could start living down to that label and forget that as we live, we grow. We can choose to develop parts of ourselves that need some extra attention and by learning new skills and new understandings of ourselves, we can make powerful changes. I know from personal experience that this can happen if we want it badly enough and decide to find a way of making it happen.
If there are parts of you that you'd like to strengthen you've made a good start by exploring this forum. We're all learning all the time how to become the person we'd like to be.
Good luck
starship

(You say that as an adolescent you were considered shy - Often people develop shyness as a protection - avoiding contact with people avoids the risk of being hurt - and it's effective at that, but there's a price to pay in not having close contact.)

I believe you've hit the proverbial nail on the head Mike; there were a few very large disturbances in the force durring my childhood--several years of lost memory as a result.


(People can become less shy, by learning to feel more comfortable around other people, and being happy with some uncertainty about how other people respond.)

I try desperatly to be comfortable around others and over the years have acheived some success, but I think that it is actually an act that I subconsiously portray. I lost the ability to feel happiness decades ago.

(Can you get this simply by wanting to? Well wanting to is the first step, then being clear about what you want, and then taking appropriate action to achieve it. This may mean occasionally stepping out of your comfort zone.)

Agreed, but I have an anchor tied to my butt I developed PTSD some 35 years ago and wasn't diagnosed (and treated) untill 1998.

Thank you for the link

(This thread raises some interesting questions, doesn't it? Should we believe the labels that tests give us?)

As Micheal said: "The tests are just snapshots."

I found the Typology to be an accurate foundation of my personality, but like yourself, I go through changes from day to day, so that at any given time it would be less accurate than at another time.

Still, I wonder if somewhere out there isn't a message board where I could type in: ISTJ seeks xxxx for companionship and possible LTR? LMAO

MBTI results really should be as indicators only and not as definitive. It's also worth doing them several months apart, picking out common themes, and questioning any scores particularly if they are in the middle of the scoring spectrum. I did a few versions of the MBTI - the Consulting Psychologists Press Inc version, the AdvisorTeam version etc - and they all came out with slightly different results.

I think Myers-Briggs can be useful for people who have never really refelected on the fact that they might go about things differently to others.

It can also provide a neutral platform for people at work to discuss their alternate viewpoints, and point out the useful facets of something that might be normally considered negative i.e. an extreme 'J' (Judger) would be very ordered, and perhaps irritating to those who want to push things through quickly, but they would be very handy in ensuring things get done right first time.

However, I think we need to remember that any 'label' is an average - a stereotype - and while it may highlight prominent aspects of our personality in a particular situation at a particular time, it cannot encapsulate the subtleties of any individual, or encompass their potential for change.

In fact, now I think about it, perhaps the most useful aspect of this type of test is to illuminate other personality areas that we could become better at using.

I, for one, have found much use in MBTI. Since I found out about it a year ago, I've been trying to establish the personality types of people I spend a lot of time with, such as family and friends. And it helps. I feel I can understand them better when knowing their function/attitude preferences. For instance, I could have had my little squabbles with my sister forever, with no idea of what was causing them, had I not come to understand that we're both Judicative - we both make plans and they don't always fit.

Anyway, as to using your personality areas better, I would recommend (to the Introverts, at least) www.personalitypage.com. In addition to the 16 Portraits, they have a Personal Growth section, where they give suggestions for using one's strengths and managing one's weaknesses. Unfortunately, they haven't yet been able to include suggestions for the Extraverts.

And YES, twoten, typological compatibility has been studied. The "XXXX in Relationships" section of each Portrait on www.personalitypage.com ends with a suggestion of the two statistically most compatible types for XXXX. The general rules are that you have to have the same dominant function (a generally similar life attitude) and the other characteristics have to be reversed (the two complement eachother in those fields, this seems to be what people unknowingly describe when they say "he/she is my better half"). A slight difference occurs with the 8 types that have a dominant decision function (T/F) - in their case it's preferable that the auxiliary also be shared (S/N), but (a general rule, this one) the type with the "wrong" auxiliary is always the second most compatible, so it's not a big problem if you don't find the _perfect_ match.

I'm an ISTJ too, so I can tell you directly : the most compatible type for us is the ESFP - same dominant (Sensorial) and with everything else inverted. Just think about it ... how adorable is an expressive, outgoing, effervescent Feeler who's also "careless", spontaneous, full of ideas and almost seems to be begging for a J to balance their life ? I would know, because I've met one (the first one since I've been using these concepts). Right now I'm at the point where I try to find the best approach. I just decided today that I'm going to use our common dominant to get closer to her - the Sensorial function. I'll just do everything I can (in controlled measures, of course) to _show_ her how I fell, to _do_ things that make it clear, rather than say anything. It's typical of us Sensorials to try to convey affection through deeds, rather than words, and who better to be at the receiving end than another Sensorial ?

Anyway, hope this helps. And don't forget : we're not just our types, we're unique, distinct individuals ...


Adi

Anyway, hope this helps. And don't forget : we're not just our types, we're unique, distinct individuals ...


DonJoe,

I don't mean to ignore your eloquent and informative reply.

My dearly loved twin brother died suddenly and I'm just not myself, I'll return when I'm able.

So sorry to hear that, twoten!

Come back soon.

Kathleen