Emotional child abuse

Yes I thought that too the second I wrote it but I think it may be more complicated. It offended my sense of right and wrong also if she didn't want to be with me I definitely don't want to be with her. I need to feel wanted in a relationship

Your right about the unpleasant feelings there are e few different ones is all I am saying I'm not disagreeing

This is irrelevant but I would enjoy your insight. 5yrs ago I had junky neighbours a couple, the guy Joe was the most damaged individual I've ever met I doubt I know 1/4 of it. Jealousy ruled him he was constantly angry or upset, I caught him crying and punching himself in the face. He had a bad case of small man's disease, a compulsive liar, he constantly sabotaged me with lies, he attacked me with a golf club for not giving him a cigarette. He got in his roof cut all the electrical wires out for the copper scrap metal and was surprised when nothing in his house worked(for 50c worth of copper!) it's the stupidest thing I've heard. He said the drugs made him do it lol he smashed the back window of his girls car 3 times from angrily slamming it lol
It just goes on, any thoughts?

It was fascinating and surprising what they do, when they rip someone off they called it an 'earn' its the opposite of earning! Lol he didn't care about lots of money or easy money or getting caught or anything. All he cared about was money now now now. 1 day he knew the cops were coming he didn't care about ditching the stolen stuff all he cared about was getting a hit before they got there. Very interesting experience for me

You would have had fun picking his brain apart

I absolutely love the irony of calling stealing an earn

I relived the experience of my girlfriend flirting to see wat I felt and thought. My first thought was betrayal! My first feeling was shock. My second thought was 'right in front of me!' my second feeling was anger. The next thought was 'you don't want me' I felt deceived (I don't know wat to call this feeling its some kind of pain I thought it might be rejection but it doesn't quite ring true you will probably know!) my next thought was 'I'm out' . Jealousy was surely a part of it but I cant place where it came in. When I ended it she tried to hit me with a pool cue! We were drinking its not relevant just a little interesting

No time pressure to answer I have endless patience I'm just so pleased at what you are teaching me

No pressure to even answer at all I expect nothing and am grateful for what I receive thankyou

To be specific your gifts of knowledge are having (or have had) a good and positive effect on my mental health and wellbeing. That's what I'm thanking you for exactly

I live in New Zealand I've been in the mental health system about 12 yrs. I've talked to 4 psychologists and all they did was assess and medicate me. Assessing me and telling me I have anxiety and depression isn't news in any way! And as for medicating they just seem to pick one at random and see what happens. I've had counselling twice but just from social workers a complete waste of time I gained no strategies or coping mechanisms it was just mildly pleasant to talk to someone. Nz is having a mental health epidemic we have a huge suicide rate and it shouldn't be. Its a lovely country low crime rate very little gun violence its headline news when just one person gets killed. I've been doing it all virtually alone. May I ask about your credentials and experience? It's not important for my health to tell me. Every word you say is 100% honest and accurate it's all the qualifications you need in my opinion am just curious. And curious why our system is so useless and performing so awfully

The only assisstence I'm getting is 20mg of diazapam for my anxiety. 2 doses a week is just enough for me to do maintain the 2 basics in life shopping (food mostly) and paying the bills. I do take nortriptaline I'm almost sure it does nothing the only reason I take its because its the only one I've tried without horrible side effects. I've only just begun to try and use the Internet to heal myself. The best thing is emailing doesn't trigger my anxiety I can think clearly and my memory works. I used to go into shops and couldn't remember what I wanted! Embarrassing! Now I repeat a few times what I need before I go in, it works

I did feel bad when I saw my girl flirting but it that doesn't make it jealousy there are many bad feelings that aren't jealousy