Spontaneity and Charisma

One place to start Treshan is times when you have been the most spontaneous - perhaps just surprising yourself with an angry outburst, or quick joke. Anything, no matter how small, can give you a clue to the sort of state you need to be in.

Of course trying to be spontaneous is a paradox, as I'm sure you're aware - by definition spontaneity has to happen by itself!

It may be more helpful to look at the surrounding conditions that allow spontaneity to take place - total absorption in something, relaxation, excitement perhaps...

Roger

You sound like an intelligent, thoughtful person ,with a lot to offer the world. So you're not spontaneous or charismatic, do you want to be perfect? There are many people in the world who would love to be clever like you, prisons are full of "spontaneous" people. It is a much better advantage to be able to think about things before reacting, and contemplating your feelings. I think you should make the most of what you have and not long for something that seems attractive. If you tried to force spontaneity it would be false. Be yourself- you sound pretty good already!

Thanks for replying

I agree with you, RogerE, on the fact that certain conditions automatically make you spontaneous.

If I remember well, the situations in which I've been spontaneous were obviously (almost) all the times I knew something well about the field of discussion and also when I'm in the centre of the attention.
As for jokes and instant comments though, I only rarely am able to say something that makes impression, and usually they aren't things I've thought myself alone, but sentences other people have said.
In few words, when I am "spontaneous", most of the time I "act", I imitate other people who are really charismatic in order to make use of things I've heard (and I have to admit, when I "imitate" spontaneous people I, too, "look" spontaneous and anyway promote my social aura).
However I almost NEVER come up with innovative, creative things.

Amber, I may sound wrong, but after having read much about the facts that there are chemical backgrounds to everything, including character and personality, I tell myself, what is actually "false" in trying to improve oneself?
I am "myself" as far as my interests concern.
And personally I don't consider myself very "intelligent", since every person in this world is, but is only "obstructed" by other things in the mind.

But maybe I explained myself incorrectly. What I mean is: how to make the brain elaborate a phrase that has something to do with the situation. How to say the correct thing at the correct time. In few words maybe, how to make the head accellerate the "search" process in ones memory so that the feedback, the answer, may come out quickly.
Is it actually a matter of speed? Can this process be improved by certain food or behavious?
Maybe the question could also be: how can one "think faster"?

I again thought for a while and told myself that probably the main reason of this "problem" is that I lack of creativity.

Hi Treshan.

There seems to be some confusion over what you mean by spontaneous. It can be taken that you mean being rash or hasty in which case the wrong decision might be made in the spur of the moment.

But it seems to me that instead you'd like to know how you can become faster or more creative in your responses in the here and now as opposed to thinking deeply about consequences. And for this I'd agree with Roger that it can't be forced. Trying too hard will not work, it must be something that naturally occurs. It's similar to the way sports performers need to find a certain flow and if they think too much about their movements they will most probably lose.

I guess it also requires a certain level of decisiveness and confidence. The willingness to let go a little and trust your subconscious to do the right thing.

Andy.

I am experiencing the same problem. When I want to say something that makes sense I have to think too long, otherwise I am speaking nonsense.

Some of my experiences/thoughts on this:

Do you have a weak voice ? A weak voice makes it hard for people to understand you in noisy environments, so you have to speak louder or shout. It takes more energy to be sponateneous.

I find active listening skills helpful if I don't know what to say.

Lack of self-disclosure blocks spontaneity. For example: hidden angry feelings toward someone make you more silent. Perhaps in your case hidden feelings of anxienty are blocking the road.


I like what RogerE says. I'm gonna try to find out how to in wich states I am more spontaneous and vice versa.

Greetings,
Francis

Indeed, I've noticed that when I "unveil" my current emotionality my creativity is also unblocked and thereby I'm more spontaneous, and also charismatic at the same time.

That's a nice find Treshan. I suppose this could fall into the category of 'being yourself'?