ten years

**Posts:** 41697 · by **desperate788** » Sat Apr 06, 2019 5:12 pm

It's been ten years my journey away from home started. What days I have lived. Sad and happy. Today in a rainy cloudy night I'm melancholic about past. I'm alone and sad. Worried. Maybe I'm wrong but I think first years of this journey was better it's getting worse by time passing .. I don't heal worries stuck and pessimist soul. Missing my mother. How many more years this journey will continue and if I will be happy at last time will tell.

**Posts:** 9885 · by **Candid** » Sat Apr 06, 2019 6:13 pm

You sold your life to the tax department. I hope it was worth it!

**Posts:** 41697 · by **desperate788** » Sat Apr 06, 2019 6:21 pm

It occurred spontaneously that time. I had to be away from home and there was this tax thing. I haven't quit it because of problems at home at the beginning it continued ten years somehow. If I were healthy and had the option to choose I wouldn't work at tax department. If I were healthy I would be much more capable to do the job I wanted to.

**Posts:** 9885 · by **Candid** » Sun Apr 07, 2019 7:31 am

How can we help you?

**Posts:** 41697 · by **desperate788** » Sun Apr 07, 2019 10:38 am

You are already helping me..by listening and responding me.. thanks.

**Posts:** 41697 · by **desperate788** » Sun Apr 07, 2019 1:52 pm

Missing old days..Not exactly. Life seems meaningless. A kind of melancholia. Don't want to go to work.

**Posts:** 41697 · by **desperate788** » Sun Apr 07, 2019 2:08 pm

Sometimes death doesn't seem so scary

**Posts:** 9885 · by **Candid** » Sun Apr 07, 2019 2:12 pm

Think carefully about this, desperate:

Is moving back to Istanbul scarier than death???

**Posts:** 41697 · by **desperate788** » Sun Apr 07, 2019 2:23 pm

Living at the same house with my father is scarier than death without doubt.

**Posts:** 9885 · by **Candid** » Sun Apr 07, 2019 3:05 pm

Does that mean you have to remain exiled in a different part of the country?

**Posts:** 41697 · by **desperate788** » Sun Apr 07, 2019 3:30 pm

ı can live ın istanbul at a seperate house.

**Posts:** 9885 · by **Candid** » Sun Apr 07, 2019 3:37 pm

That sounds like a good idea.

**Posts:** 41697 · by **desperate788** » Sun Apr 07, 2019 3:40 pm

hope soon realises..

**Posts:** 9885 · by **Candid** » Sun Apr 07, 2019 4:02 pm

Have you told everyone you know in Istanbul that you're thinking of moving back?

**Posts:** 41697 · by **desperate788** » Sun Apr 07, 2019 4:04 pm

no ı dont talk to anyone. Just my mom. Actually being close to my mom is the only reason ı want to go to istanbul.

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