which type of depression do you suffer?

I'd say mine was atypical. I experience it mostly as a weight in my head. I don't have low self-esteem. I'm happy about my life, though there are a few fundamental issues. I take medication, but I generally have "crashes" on Friday evening, and always during the first couple of days of vacation.

I'm not generally an "all or nothing" thinker, and my colleagues would say that *I'M* the one who constantly calls attention to the good things that are happening, when they can only see the bad. My basic needs are pretty well satisfied, most of them, and I feel pretty good about the future (even though I'm 54).

I had a catastrophic injury as a child, and I was bullied mercilessly all through it. I'm enjoying the Uncommon natural depression program, but lots and lots of the emotional factors and thinking patterns it addresses aren't really about me. I'm working through it, but it does really seem like my depression is a disorder deep in my psyche, so deep that I can't even feel its roots.

I will say, of course, that I've never had a pleasant dream in my life, and so the dream cycling explanations seem pretty on point, even though the triggers for my depression are all throughout the day--neuroses that really irritate me, suddenly dropping things that break...accidents. Frustration is a big one. I really would like to talk with someone about my experiences.

i just don't want to meet people