questions

Hi there magic88.

You say the underlying problem, but then I wonder what underlying problem? Do you mean that it might in essence be a self-esteem/confidence issue?

I used to have heavy social anxiety and dreaded public speaking. Now the SAD is gone, and public speaking goes pretty well. I'm not very charismatic on stage, but just calm, focused and relaxed.

In my opinion, the best way to beat social anxiety is to begin a Self-Improvement program. CBT therapy, or others form of effective therapy, can complement it. But I really think beating social anxiety is mostly up to the person him or herself.

You mention Dale Carnegie, and that's exactly the kind of material that can solve your anxiety. Other good names are Brian Tracy and Anthony Robbins; you've probably heard of one or two of them before. The important thing is to really apply and do something will all that information you learn.

Begin with simple small goals. Start saying "hi' to people that walk by on the street, if they seem a little receptive, and also make eye contact with them. Usually they just say Hi back. Later, strike up a conversation with a stranger on the street. Look if they are busy or basically doing nothing. This makes them more receptive to talking with you. Good people to begin to talk to are old people, in their seventies and above. There's not much pressure in talking to them. Keep practicing, and set bigger and bigger goals. Avoid really difficult anxiety provoking goals in the beginning.

Stuff that really triggers heavy anxiety is usually: public speaking, talking to a group of partying friends when going out in the weekends, approaching a good looking woman on the street. These are some of the most difficult ones. Avoid them in the beginning, but make them your goal.

You are on the right track with Dale Carnegie. Keep reading social, psychological, success books and listen to audio tapes. And most importantly, use and apply what you learn in daily life. There is no other way around it. Just start doing something. Anything. Improvement requires a lot of time and effort.

I really think medications against social anxiety are quick fixes, that basically work as placebos. I don't recommend them.

Lastly, I don't know anything about hypnosis, but if it works it works. Combining different improvement factors together--self-improvement, exercise and fitness, reading, listen to audio tapes, therapy, hypnosis--will usually get you the greatest and quickest improvements. When you use them together, they'll create synergy.

Any questions, don't hesitate to ask them!

PS. Good book I recommend is this: First Impressions - What You Don't Know About How Others See You

This may not help, but try looking at public speaking this way:

It's not really a "social" activity.

There's a membrane between you and the audience.

The audience isn't 50 different individuals, but one entity.

I have social anxiety at parties where I don't know any of the individuals, but I've never seen an audience as individuals, so I've never had trouble addressing an audience.

I'm going to make two suggestions: one to treat your public speaking fear symptoms and the other to treat your underlying issues.

As public speaking coaches, we see a lot of folks who have the heart palpations and all the other signs of nervousness. It's our belief that if you aren't at least a bit nervous, you have little respect for your audience. But, if you are too nervous, neither you nor your audience will enjoy the experience.

So, here are a few things we use to help our coaching clients overcome the nerves:
a. know your subject. Learn more than you need to, so you feel comfortable talking about it to anyone.
b. check out the place you are going to speak so you don't immediately trip up or become disoriented.
c. do deep breathing. Breathe way in, hold for count of 5, slowly breathe out. Repeat for several minutes before you speak. It will calm you down, and, guarantee a full, even voice when you start to speak.
d. Plan to move around when you speak. It keeps the audience awake and gives you something to do with all the nervous energy.

For the underlying issue, yes, you could try hypnosis. Contrary to the general perception, hypnosis is not giving up control of your mind to someone else, it is your mind making use of a long buried skill. Just be certain to work with a certified medical/clinical hypnotist who will teach you to develop the skill.

Hope these help.

Hi magic88,

I have had similar issues to yours, in fact I think most people do, but through practice and more exposure my fears were tuned down significantly.

Here is my answers to your questions:

"Would trying to overcome public speaking fear be useless without attacking the underlying problem?"


While I do believe that public speaking fear stems from an underlying problem, I think we can't find what the problem is without delivering speeches and listening to our bodies to feel where the fear is coming from

I found after I delivered many speeches that my underlying problem was fear that people won't understand me and fear of people's opinion.

Again, I would have never known that these were actually my issues without standing in front of people and speaking.

Has anybody had success with the Dale Carnegie course?


While I haven't done the Dale Carnegie course, I read some of his books and found them really good. Again Dale Carnegie in his books emphasise on the importance of practice rather than reading.

I am open to trying therapy (rational emotive behavior, cognitive behavior). Any recommendations?

I think Drama therapy really helps. (Please note I am not a psychologist)

Another thing I really recommend is joining a Toastmasters club. People in Toastmasters are really friendly and they are there just to help each other become better speakers.

I really think that we can't learn public speaking except through practice. The first few times will be painful but slowly it will turn into an exciting experience.

Hope that helps,

While I haven't done the Dale Carnegie course, I read some of his books and found them really good.

Yes, that's me, too. I got a lot out of the two books I read -- How to Win Friends & Influence People and How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.

And they seem like they would yin-yang well with any attempt to conquer a fear of public speaking.

Of course, he's probably addressed that fear specifically, somewhere.

may I help with some advice to get over this common fear, all this comes down to is WAIT FOR IT .... communication and the way we are representing the experience in our heads change the internal pictures sounds and the feelings will change look into the NLP phobia cure a powerfull technique that will elliminate phobias in a short time sometime just one session.
This is done by taking the old memory that is causing the problem and altering it Another technique is the circle of excellence a powerful excersise that will really bost confidence
also hypnosis, no not the stage show entertainment but high quality hypnotherapy that can assist a person to release some issues that may be effecting them also suggestion thereapy that will help in bosting confidence in the specific area. Also could try time line therapy this can be used to alther the way the memory of this is represented
i mastered this fear and yes it was a major one belive me, using all of the above
anyfeed back or questions are welcomed ...ken

well ?

Hello,

I think you should tackle each probleme separatly, For the excessive sweating, you should try AHC20 from scrubsUK it's a really good product. (i have HH).
For the Public speaking problem, i think you should try to find a therapist who could give you tips of how to deal with this ... but i think to really work on the problem, you should find a group therapie so you could really work on it and make progress. I am not a professional but i know some people who have the same kind of problems and the better way to beat the fear is to practise at it. Have a good day