How to not get angry/stressed by my neighbor's laugh?

dofus wrote:Hi,

I know that I'm overly stressed since I already develop physical symptoms (involuntary contractions, extreme fatigue) so I reduce to reduce stress.

The problem is that every day; my neighbor randomly laugh while watching the TV.

this is typically the kind of laugh of any witches you could hear on movies/cartoon

So the problem is that every time she leughs, I become angry.

I would like to not be angry (or less) when this happen, so I can cope with my stress.

Any advice?

Dear Dofus,

I shouldn’t be minimizing your problem, but if hearing laughter is the worst problem you have in the World, then you are among the happiest men alive, or you should be! You really need to just learn how to Cope with it. Tolerate it. Tell yourself that it is only momentary, and that the Real Problem is in simply Not Being Able to Let It Go. You need to Practice this kind of Self Intervention.

And the Reason you need to Practice Self Intervention – to De-Stress by gaining some Perspective in Life – is because there is Far Worse Out there. You seem holed up in your flat, hiding from the World. But how long can that last? Eventually you have to come out and face what can be a very annoying and exasperating World, and you Can’t Let It Overwhelm You. Whatever the World dishes out, you simply have toTake It… and take it Well. Everyone Has Problems, but not Everyone Complains about them, not everyone gets Angry About them. Some people are Cool. Yes, some people were born Cool, but others saw early in life how Cool being Cool was and practiced, practiced, practiced. You need to practice being Cool.

Of course I have many other problems besides hearing laughter.

The main one is this stress which causes so many symptoms (fatigue, headaches, contraction) and I will probably fail my exams because of this.

That's why I want to remove all stressors from my life.

But I think that you're right and I'll try to practice being cool and let it go.

Thanks

It remembers me of the time I was working in a repair place.
My collegues always had lots of fun, but I was the serious man. Working hard, covering myself, shy at the inside.
Sometimes I yelled to my collegues: Hey, stop it, go to work. They even laughed harder

I was n't free in those days. I had big troubles in my emotional and spiritual life.
It would cost some years to clean up the mess. Now I can have the greatest fun just with myself
Why? Because I am free, and feel free. No more fear in my life, no struggling with anger, let loose my parents and other people who had hurted me in life.

Okay, what about your neighbor?
He seem to be happier than you. Did you talk to him? Or are you to angry / shy to do that?
It would help if you go to him and say: Hi, can you please stop laughing so hard because I become crazy about it.
Then tell him your story. Sharing feelings always reduces stress, did you know that?

You should be very thankful to your lauging neighbor. He is just a mirror where you are looking in.
Do some self-investigation (or how do you call it) and found out what is exactly the trigger in your mind to become so angry. Find answers why you are so stressed and fatigue. There must be a huge red flag there deep inside on which you have to pay attention to.

dofus wrote:Of course I have many other problems besides hearing laughter.

The main one is this stress which causes so many symptoms (fatigue, headaches, contraction) and I will probably fail my exams because of this.

That's why I want to remove all stressors from my life.

But I think that you're right and I'll try to practice being cool and let it go.

Thanks

Hi Dofus,

Good! It sounds like you have a proper attitude for attempting to address your Anger Management problem, so I can begin to explain some of the Important Stuff.

Firstly, the primary Therapeutic Tool that Psychologists use to address Anger Issues is the Same Tool they use for dealing with Stress, Depression, Phobias, Obsessions… just about anything that doesn’t involve extreme Neuro-Chemical Imbalances that can only be treated with Meds. That Tool is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It came along in the last 30 some years, or since I was in college. This Cognitive Behavior Therapy paradigm really took off in a big way because the tracking data was very good all the way from the start. You see, CBT works with the idea that Undesirable Behaviors result from Inappropriate, Maladaptive, or even just plain-old Mistaken Thoughts, and that such Thoughts are Habitual. People lose themselves in a Web of Habitual and almost Automatic thoughts and responses – their thinking does not cleanly respond to Reality, and Loved One’s and Co-workers are often set to wondering where the ‘Person’s’ Inappropriate Behaviors and Reactions are coming from – “Where did THAT come from?” “What the heck was he THINGING?”

So Cognitive Behavioral Therapy focusses on having the Patient, or Subject, examine his Thinking… his Internal Dialogue… the thoughts that are behind his Motivations and which set off his Impulses. CBT may take some interest in childhood problems and past traumas, but only in regards to giving the Patient perspective in dealing with his Present Maladaptive Ways of Thinking.

So much for Theory. The Practice of It is to be aware of what your Internal Dialogue is ‘Saying’ and when you Catch It being Maladaptive (just wanting to cause Trouble and Aggravation) you Need to Dispute With It. You see, the Internal Dialogue is NOT Fixed and Automatic. At Any Time you are Free to Talk Back to whatever your Head is trying to Tell you. The Trick is to Stop Letting Your Head get away with the Stuff it has been getting away with for Years… for so long that it has all become sort of Habitual and Automatic at this point. But, You can Step in and Take Charge and Change it. As I said above, the Reason Everybody Uses Cognitive Behavior Therapy nowadays is because it has been statistically proven to work. It’s a good Tool and you would be silly not to use it.

Now, that might give you a little bit more to work with.