Venting a little bit

Hi, thank you for your replies.

I'm posting to vent about my day today where I feel I've had a relapse on my progress to a positive self image therefore overcoming my social anxieties.

My job had a meeting tonight, where my boss, and all of my colleagues would attend. While I wasn't nervous about the meeting throughout the course of the day, as soon as I walked in, saw everyone, and sat down, the same social anxiety symptoms overcame me as they had did in the past. Thus, I put up what I call my "fake personality" which I basically refer to as the personality that socializes in situations where I am nervous or anxious. This personality is manipulated, teased, non assertive, and allows others to treat me like garbage. After a few minutes into the meeting, I used 7/11 breathing to calm myself down a bit, but I could not get rid of my fake personality! Perhaps I was still a bit socially anxious (although the symptoms had faded a bit) but I feel upset right now because I feel like I have relapsed and made no progress. I engaged in a conversation with a fellow co-worker and the entire time I was thinking about what I would say next to keep the conversation flowing, instead of socializing unconciously. While I realize I'm not perfect, it's just upsetting to me that after weeks of practice I feel I've gotten no where, especially since I was confident throughout the course of the day that I would do socially well in this meeting.

Is there something wrong with me? Maybe I am treating myself wrong?

Just wanted to vent out my frustration, I know this post isn't well pieced together as my emotions are clouding my brain from thinking clearly.

Thanks.