Dating a rape victim, need advice.

I've been in a romantic relationship with a childhood friend who was raped three years ago. We've been together for about two months and everything has progressed rather quickly, but we're pretty chill with that.

I really need some advice on how to help her through a lot of her PTSD symptoms. She's been going about dealing with it on her own for three years and I don't want her to have to fight this on her own anymore. We both grew up in the United States but we've lived in Mongolia for the past 8-9 years. The therapists and psychiatrists here are mediocre at best and she's not comfortable with them at all. She says she's going to seek therapy once we're back in the United States this fall for college.

I contacted her rapist recently, and I had set up a meeting because I needed to see him and hear what he had to say for himself. Law enforcement in Mongolia is honestly horrible and he never faced any consequences and I wanted to show him how it felt to be helpless by beating him within an inch of his life. I felt so angry at him because my girlfriend told me how helpless she felt hoping that somebody, anybody would hear her cries for help and come. No one did and she has to live with the aftereffects of what she's gone through every single day now. I'd known her since fourth grade and knowing that I could have stopped what was happening if I'd just stayed with her that day infuriates me to no end.

I told her that I'd arranged to see her rapist when I was with her last night but she was livid and began to have flashbacks again and broke down after I told her why I wanted to see him. I canceled the meeting and promised her I would never contact him ever again.

So far she's had flashbacks, a variety of different panic attacks, dissociation at random times and at some moments crippling fear. When she has panic attacks it sometimes helps to tell her a story to try and distract her, but only sometimes. At other times she seems completely fine on the outside but she says that's just her body is on autopilot and that the panic is still there. She tells me that when she's not thinking about something else or focused on something else the "incident" (the rape) comes back into her mind like pop-up ads. She tells me that the dissociation feels like she's not real, that everything around her isn't real and that it's like either she or the world around her is in slow motion.

As I write this I'm at home and she's at school for a project. She's having the dissociation problem right now as we speak and I'm trying my best to help over text but I don't know how much it's helping and whether it's even helping or not. I genuinely need some advice on how to help her. I've been reading a ton about PTSD and rape trauma and how to help victims of rape but I just can't seem to apply some of what I read.

Can someone please give me some insight on how to help her with these symptoms effectively? I'm trying my best but it doesn't feel like I'm helping enough. Every time she's going through this or every time I remember the "incident" it feels like there's this huge pit in my chest, and that my lungs are collapsing on themselves. It's problematic how we're both senior students and we go to different schools at the moment. I can't be there to help her in person and can only talk to her over phone or over text. If this is how it feels for me, somebody who knows what happened, I can't even imagine how it feels for her every living moment.