Cannabis withdrawals after 5 months clean

Hello, I am now 2 months off of Cannabis. I have been smoking it for 15 years everyday all the time, from morning to night before bed. Whole joints to myself. I feel I am trapped inside a mental breakdown cage that I cannot escape. I'm scratching at every corner to find a way out but there is nothing to find. I have 2 new born children and this is why I stopped smoking, because I wanted to be more present and not a stoner stinking up the house with roaches and bags of weed. I reduced my intake fairly quickly but as I went to less and less my anxiety and feeling of doom increased. I now hide from my wife and children locked in a room from anxiety and depression mixed with intense social phobia, insomnia and disassociation nightmares and Paralisis. I even ended up in the psych ward for 2 days. Before I quit I was fine. Functioning with a new job, being social and laughing with my family. I am trying everything including working out 3 days a week and walks on the other days. I meditate , drink tea. I sometimes wish I never began to stop because at least I wasn't like this. Even though I was stoned out of my mind, it was better than this. Now it's too late to go back because it now causes extreme cold flashes with doom and intense paniic. The doctor said this is CWS or cannabis withdrawal syndrome and it could take a year for someone who smoked heavy like me. I am so glad I can relate to a lot of you and the struggle that others are going through. Makes me have a sliver of hope that one day this will end. However, I can't take it much more. My life has now no joy, no hope, I can't even work anymore to provide. I feel so alone in this cage of anxiety and dread. IDK why I am sharing this. Maybe someone can tell me it will be ok.

Hi,
It does look like you're having a tough time and anxiety can be extreme and complex, but it can be managed and you will recover. I would suggest you try and re-engage with your life instead of hiding away. You say you have 2 babies now? You need to get involved, even gradually, as much as you can, but you need to do this. Your wife will need you there, not hiding away which will make this last longer and be tougher. Getting involved will be a distraction from your thoughts and will help you bond with your children.... you can't reclaim that time, trust me. You seem to be doing some good things for your recovery but they all seem to be about you... your grabbing at everything and anything which is understandable but counter productive and is part of your anxiety. When something doesn't produce what you want you look for something else, when there is so much you can do with your family. You say your doing this for them, yet you hide away from them?? Get involved, your partner will appreciate you for it and support you. You will connect to your children and this will only add to your life.
Best wishes

Thank you, you may be right but I don't want them to see me the way I am and my mood swings. I do my best to spend some of time with them, maybe an hour or so. I've tried everything, even medication but not anti depressants. I am not into that, nor benzos. I was on them before and it did nothing. Hopefully time will tell but for now I am in the eye of the storm. My wife doesn't really want me around them until I calm down. Thank you for your response.

Have you considered psychology/CBT? This may help with managing your thoughts and beliefs. Hope you find the solutions to your problems.

Thank you, Yes I have tried CBT, DBT as well. Also Neuro feedback and bio feedback. No results. Except drained my bank account. I still practice them when I can. They do help a bit but not enough. I was better at mindfulness before I stopped smoking, sadly.

I am also experiencing issues. I have been an all day, every day cannibis smoker from June 2013 until March 3rd of this year. It has been just over 2 months since I last used. Surprisingly I did not have many issues, initially. I believe it is because I came back to the USA from Colombia, and there was a lot of hope and excitement and distraction. I started working about 3 weeks ago, and it was going well. After working one week however, I woke up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat and with an excruciating headache and nausea. I didn't sleep and vomited all morning. The following night I slept better (still woke up at about 2 AM as per usual and had trouble sleeping) and thought it was behind me. Nope, the next night, same thing, the headache was back and I was vomiting again. This has been going on for the past weeks plus. As I wrote this I have a horrible headache and nausea. I ended up quitting my job after that first bout of vomiting, thinking perhaps the new job was causing anxiety. Nope. I have seen a doctor, took trazodone for help sleeping, and all it did was keep me awake with grogginess the next day. Almost every night when I do sleep, I have a dream of smoking cannabis. Last night I dreamt of smoking a joint with my family, my dad , sister, etc. even though I have always kept this from them all. Because of my dreams I suspect my body is looking for relief, which leads me to believe these health issues are related to cannibis withdrawal. I also remain secluded in my basement room. People make noise and it hurts my mind and.gives me anxiety. My only relief comes from music or something good on the TV to distract me although holding attention on anything is another challenge. I sometimes think my only solution is to go back to using, just a little to stave off these pains, although I know, CLEARLY KNOW, this will lead to all day every day massive consumption. It has been a nightmare, literally at times. I didn't remember dreaming while I used. Now my dreams are stressful almost nightly.

Thats sucks; but Ive been there. Stick with it; go back to smoking and you know you will just be postponing all this pain to a later date.