Help

I think you need to think about yourself too Cookie Monster, if you are under pressure all the time then you are going to become depressed too and hardly be able to be in the positon to help your husband.
Has your husband been prescribed any medication or therapy? A diagnosis alone will do little good I would have thought, I know that around here there are groups that one can go to, like self help I suppose but run by the community mental health team, your local mental health people may be a good place to go to for advice & support, you can probably look them up on the internet.
Good luck, I'm sorry I can't offer you some more constructive advice, I know how hard it is living with and loving someone who's very depressed, it gets soul destroying at times but it will get better, take care.
Chelly
xxx

Tsk tsk tsk... already jumping to hard treatment and medications...

So what about his personal life... work, friend, sexual life? Why does he sigh? (If he does...) Does he have any hobbies, interests, social life?
By the way, yeah 12 hours sleep is too much. Depressed people have the tendency to sleep more than 8 hours... but usually that is because they have too much free time in their hands.
So yeah, it would be interesting to know where he is from... Can you answer my questions above?

I wasn't jumping to anything, I was asking, I find it unusual for a doctor to diagnose someone with depression and then just send them away with no help. Would you say just knowing that you're depressed is going to help, or would you concede that perahps some consructive advice may be an advantage?
By the way, if some one went tsk tsk to me in real life, I'd think the were patronising and be very tempted to slap them, online the feeling evokes similar emotions in me.

Hi all

I don't think there is really any need to be critical Dr Pierre, you can put across your own point without hindering others putting across theirs.

Tell you what Chelly, the last time someone said tsk, tsk to me I think it was my gran when I was about 8. Yes, not very respectful Dr Pierre.

And thank you for seeing what Cookie Monster really needs - some support, not offhand comments.

Cookie Monster, Chelly is absolutely right, the most common response for women who live with depressed men is for them to become depressed themselves - they blame themselves in part for not being able to help.

(Interestingly, men don't tend to get depressed living with depressed women, they tend to get angry that the woman won't take their advice. But I digress...)

People with depression sleep too much because 'they have too much time on their hands',

What nonsense! Are you a real Dr Dr Pierre, or is that simply a handle you use. You may be giving people the impression that your opinions are medically based. Whether you are a qualified doctor or not, this opinion is downright wrong. Please temper your comments in future and have some consideration for others.

Depressed people sleep too much because they are exhausted and have a REM overload due to too much emotional introspection. Depression takes a lot of hard work to maintain. And yes, it is important to restrict them to no more than 9 hours.

My first instruction would be to get him to read the Depression Learning Path. That is not too much to ask, and if he does it later in the day when he probably feels better (most depressed people do) his attention span will be better.

Does he recognise that he is depressed and does he want to get better? Have you communicated to him how hard this is on you?

The person closest to the depressed person is often in the worst position to help them I find, but the first thing is for him to understand what is going on.

Let us know how you get on with asking him to read the Learning Path.

Best of luck

Roger