Goddamnit I hate men, women, mothers, you name it I hate it

Quite a post. But believe it or not so many people feel like you. I joined this forum to work on my addiction but anger management has always been an issue of mine. So idk maybe it's wrong for me to comment but as someone in the same boat as you I'll try to help the best I can.

I hate people too..mi never seem to get along never seem to do the right thing but what I have found as I've gotten older is that that will always happen.

I used to think the world was so stupid people r so stupid...and idk in some ways I still believe that but my one word of advice. NO ONE FEELS BAD FOR YOU. Trust me brother I don't mean that in a bad way more so I'm saying it'll never change. Parents will always nag and people will always be stupid. All you can control is yourself. I know that sounds corny but a lot of time my anger comes from the fact that I simply don't want to stop being angry. In my experience most of my anger came as a result of my own failure and I projected it at people because it was easier than saying ... hey man I'm f***ing up they r right I need to do better...As soon as I embraced that things seemed to get better. Also not stressing the small stuff. I had hugeeee road rage but then thought what can I do about dumb drivers? Nothing and they wouldn't care if I did. It's a big world and we all have to live in it.

In the case of your parents they could be right just entertain the idea without bias. Play devils advocate if you will and embrace what they say even if u don't believe it maybe just maybe you'll find their right. ..If they ARE WRONG look at it this way...u don't think they r perfect and they don't think you are perfect because no person is. Kill Em with kindness. For the longest time I hated my dad he wasn't a very good dad for t a while...but he gave good advice sometimes so I realized his flaws my flaws and chose to stay away from them. Our relationship is great now.

I hope this helps if not at least u know your rant did not go unnoticed and that people do care. Life is worth living buddy. Don't do anything stupid. U have my permission to reach out to me if you'd like!! Sometimes u just need a friendly ear. Your life is worth a lot to a lot of people please don't give up brother.

Wow. I think that's quite the reply I was looking for.
You are right, a lot of times I don't want to stop being angry.
Also I shift sometimes between anger and sorrow, always at some point where I realise that I am acting like a fool.
Kill em with kindness. I will do my best.
Some of the things that you mention remind me of key notes in my past talk therapy.
That no person can feel bad for you for example (at least not for long periods of time it seems) and why should they?
When my therapy came to an end last July, I was advised to try and see if I can keep myself in touch with it and don't look for a new therapist right away. the majority of me thinks I can manage.
But another part of me is getting all the more worried about this suicidal stuff and why I am always procrastinating things, why do I have this conflict? It worries me even more than when I first started therapy about 3 years ago. It's a real pain in the donkey.

For example, I have this idea to take boxing lessons, also I want to take lessons in Portugese. I will pay and arrange everything myself knowing that it is healthy to learn and do stuff. It could just happen that I don't show up half of the time. And after a wile I miss the majority of lessons and people won't take me serious while I act like I do take it serious.

I do feel exhausted just thinking about growing up and living a full life. Although my depression finally left me early this year and my life started getting more and more color, I still cannot find that spark that gives me more security and ... passion? Long story short although my temper has been better this year my mentality is dragging me down even more. My mentality is that I might as well explain to everyone when the time is near and certainly don't get into big relationships before that time. Half the time I am planning not to grow older than 30 so that gives me 6 years to clear this mess up.

Luckily I don't always hate people and luckily I have made more friends in the past 6 months than I've done in over 5 years. You are right about not doing anything stupid because I have lots of people that love me. But I will not proceed like this forever is all I am sure of.

I am very glad that it was you who answered, thank you for going through this rant of mine.
I get a sense that we'd get along quite well.

I'm glad my response is what u needed to hear. Proud of you buddy for recognizing some of the things that could be issues and u have goals so that is great stay busy and just shake it off!! Hope today is a much much better day for you today! And I agree I think we would too...As well as as therapy stay close to this forum. Tons of positive people with real issues just like us. There's always someone to help and it doesn't have to be some rich doctor with a fancy degree that u don't feel like u can relate to in a lot of ways not that u can't but sometimes it's easier to talk to people like us ... it's like giant group therapy but u can do it in your boxers with your hand in your pants while watching tv LMAO have a good one brother

When people don't like people it means they don't like themselves. You need to be your own best friend and personal cheer squad, BBG, because life just doesn't work if you're not on your own side.

Hello, It is true that life can be awful and ugly if we don't purposely do anything to make it the way we want it. Anger, sorrow, bitterness,..... are like weeds that spread and take control of our mind if we did not consciously throw away these weeds like a gardener who wants a beautiful garden does. In the same way that a garden can grow weeds, it can also grow beautiful flowers. If the gardener wants beautiful flowers, in his garden, he must plant it and take care of his garden, otherwise weeds will take control of the garden and destroy all his effort. What I want to say is that love, joy, happiness and good life are result of good attitude and conscious decision to always be in a state of love, hope, courage, patience, gratitude... So, you have to run your state of mind and direct your thoughts in the direction that you want.
The problem here is that you just left your bad emotions run your life that is why everything is bad and negative in your view point. Now, try to say to yourself that: ''from now on I will love, I will like myself and everybody even if I feel bad.'' You also need to feed your mind with good thoughts that is why I always recommend to people to read and listen to something that can lift up their mind.They are plenty of positive tapes and books. Some are free and some are charged. Just commit yourself to feed your mind with good books such as the Bible or something like that. I wish for you all the best, take care of your thoughts, take care of your life. Remember, life is good and wonderful. Thank you.

Haters gonna hate, and we can all choose peace, love and harmony. We can all choose forgiveness, acceptance and gratitude.

JuliusFawcett wrote:Haters gonna hate, and we can all choose peace, love and harmony. We can all choose forgiveness, acceptance and gratitude.

I would like to but you make it seem like it's a matter of seconds to getting at peace with your life.
Maybe it's easier for you because you consider yourself a happy person and I generally do not.
Don't see this as an attempt to insult you (although I think you wouldn't care a bit), but I think you know by now how I feel about a lot of your posts. I don't think they are very useful lots of times and they are always the same.
I don't believe people can come to forgiveness or peace when they are in the midst of emotional turmoil.
Believe me I would like to resist the urge of feeling hurt or angry when my brother of sister or anyone tries to.
Lots of times they don't see my emotional reaction, but how will turning the other cheek solve the problem?
Why would I submit myself to ignoring how people I care about hurt and belittle me?

Also there is a difference between being truly grateful and at peace with your lifes relationships and saying you are
And I don't believe in faking it until you make it. I am an actor, but not in real life

The principle is very simple, the practice is more challenging and can take some time.

Has choosing not to forgive, not to be grateful for this breath, not to accept the world as it is, has this approach to your life brought you happiness? If not, is it time to change? Have you had enough of suffering? What's the best that could happen?

You know as well as I do that there is nothing new in what I am saying, you're a bright guy, the resistance you are feeling is only the nightmare of the ego, you weren't born with it, someone taught it to you. They could not possibly have shown you unconditional love if they did not have that love for themselves. They were trying their best, I am trying my best and so are you. You will change when you have had enough of suffering, this always happens at the perfect time.

JuliusFawcett wrote:The practice is more challenging and can take some time.
You will change when you have had enough of suffering, this always happens at the perfect time.

I agree. I have been feeling that way recently

i think in this situation, you are annoyed at your parents because you feel like they are treating you like a kid. by lecturing you & giving you advice. & partly you are annoyed at yourself because you have acted like a kid in a way which gives them an excuse to treat you like a kid. or validates their criticism. something like that.

this is how i feel with similar interactions with my parents. sometimes in my view it is not necessarily that i've acted like a child. it is just a difference of opinion on what is important in life. or how a human should act.

the issue is the insecurity around wanting to be an adult & being afraid to be treated like a child or to be seen to be a child. or to be a child. maybe you are afraid that you won't be an adult, can't be an adult.

just know this: you are an adult.

we all have flaws, insecurities, immaturities. but as you go through life & look after yourself, experience things, you will grow into feeling gradually more comfortable that you are an adult with all the other screwed up adults out there ok they're not that screwed up. but seriously, the bar over which you have to jump is not really that high. or maybe not even there at all considering some of the other adults running around out there. & truly, you are an adult already. & the more you look after yourself & others, the more you will feel that way.

maybe when you are feeling more calm around your parents, you could try talking about this. that when you mess up, you know you've messed up. & the lecture doesn't really help things it just makes you feel angry or perhaps small like a child.

also i guess you could try to see things from their point of view. i know also it's hard for parents to stop seeing or treating you as the child they raised. rather than as an adult who is capable of fending for himself.

BigBrotherGrimm wrote:God **** it all!!! I hate everything and everybody and all of life annoys me….I want to throw stuff out the window and jump after it myself. I don't want to live an entire life because it is f***ing boring and stupid! People only complain and give me headaches and although I am one of those guys that like to see the upside of things, I never show them that I am carrying around the most darkened soul plotting against all of you. I want to blow up this earth….I don't want to feel the pressure from inside anymore and I don't want to hide from the pressures outside. …My life has become a catatonic state of indecision. I don't want to do anything. I just want to drip down and die!! I want death because the passing of time is agonizing and so is the loneliness. I want to poison myself and I want to do it fast. (etc)

Dear Mr. Grim,

Sounds like you are moving toward a classic rock bottom nervous breakdown. This can be quite serious, but there may perhaps be some good news along with it… we’ll see what you think of it. You see, often when there is a complete nervous breakdown, the existing personality structure more or less disintegrates, and the personality reforms at a higher and more integrated level. In situations like yours, one becomes very susceptible to Religious Conversions and Spiritual Awakenings. You know how the 12 Step and “I’ve Been Saved” speeches go – “I hit rock bottom when…” if you want an educated explanation on this Phenomena of Transformation, well see William James “Varieties of Religious Experience”. The book is more than a hundred years old now, but it gives you good look at how deep depression and severe melancholia precede religious or spiritual transformative experiences.

The bad news here is that the Transformation follows along the lines that the person has been educated or cultured into believing is the Absolute Right Way. Christians become extremely good Christians, and they do indeed come to feel all the consolations of Christ, and never have another bad day in their life again. But every other cultural group or religious or spiritual conclave also has its Transformed Converts to point to. I wish all of these Spiritual Experiences were the same, but they aren’t. The only Uniformity in the Transformative Experience is that the People come out of the Experience with no further anxieties. Something in the Experience gives them some kind of unshakable faith – some indisturbable calm. Leo Tolstoy the Russian author had such an experience. Walt Whitman the American poet also. And, again, all those Rock Bottom 12 steppers who say they found peace… well, they probably did. But the problem is that, well, the Crazy and Violent Religious Martyrs of the Terrorist Organizations get the same feeling of being absolutely Certain about the insane things that they ‘believe’ in as those of the kinder and gentler Faiths.

I myself would love to have such an Experience (who wouldn’t want to live in an unshakeable Calm?), except that I’m afraid the Certainty of Belief that comes with it would prevent me from being truly objective in regards to all of the other competing Value Systems and Moral Authorities. So, as long as I can keep from really having a nervous breakdown, I won’t try to push the issue and create one. Oh, but some Religious and Spiritual Groups actually push for the Breakdowns. That is what the constant prayer or meditation, sleep deprivation, food deprivation, over-work and expectations of absolute obedience push for – getting the individual to finally just ‘crack’. And you seem to have gotten there all by yourself. Good luck with it.

Dear Mr. Grimm

It’s me again, Leo. I was thinking that your case is rather important, and there may be something of a time factor. Leo Tolstoy spent several years, I believe, in his debilitating state of depression and melancholia, before his ‘Nervous Breakdown’, that is, his Personality Disintegration and Re-Integration. But the timing on these things varies. You could ‘pop’ tomorrow, and there is simply no telling on what Intellectual or Spiritual Matrix your personality would re-integrate on. So, I feel you need to seek some help, in this department, and very soon.

No! You can’t see anybody from the Psychiatric or Psychological Fields. Of course you could, but I wouldn’t advise it. Even though Professor James was a celebrated doctor in Psychology at Harvard University when he wrote his book, well, since then, the whole Mental Field of Science has strictly turned against the suggestion of any nuance of religion or spirituality. I think that nearly all of them would sooner let you rot in madness than to incur the displeasure of their Scientific Fellows by suggesting anything not yet perfectly proven by Science, which is in fact almost absolutely nothing. The demand for absolute quantitative proof is the thing that holds back Psychology the most – the Science of the Mind is supposed to weigh the mass or measure the length of thoughts and feelings, of dreams and visions. So they have made themselves almost a useless Science, as these such things cannot be put on the scale and weighed or measured with a tape like a fish one has caught.

So you must go to the most respected Religious/Spiritual person you know – respected, that is, for his stature in the Community as the Finest of Human Beings. Some people have a great deal of Standing with their religious community, or their spiritual path, but as actual Social Beings, they prove to be rather reprehensible – guided by Politics or Personal Agenda, and only appearing Great to the Public because of Media sympathy or stellar public promotions (does the word Tibet suggest anybody?). Anyway, print out what I have written and take it to this very respectable religious/spiritual figure and show it to him or her. He will know what to do and he will take it from there. And he won’t charge you anything… himself, but if he should suggest Institutionalization, and your family can afford it, well, don’t fight him about it.

I tend to tell myself, in my inner-dialogue that talks down to me, that I am weird and there's something wrong with me because I always prefer animals over people. In fact, where I love animals, I hate most things about most people. Right? Sounds dopey and stupid. My thing is that most animals actively strive to love and be loved by all -- no discrimination, they are forthright (if they like you, you know; if they don't like you, you know), and they are usually not devious, except maybe for miniature dogs that sneak upstairs/downstairs to drop a deuce instead of asking to go outside or cats that pee on the mat outside the litter box -- but probably not even them either. Most people are the opposite from animals in these ways.

"Adulthood" -- or should I say young adulthood at 25 compared to elementary, intermediate and high school -- has been supremely disappointing. I thought once adolescence faded, everyone else would catch up to the higher standards of morals and treatment of others. It didn't happen. On the contrary, just by Murphy's Law I guess, having met 1 billion times more people since I left high school, I did run across some like-minded people who weren't part of the life-sucking, underdog-kicking majority. They have been godsends. Even so, the ratio of damned people to kindred spirits is cripplingly disheartening.

As you say, the variety of truly unique and interesting people is limited as well, but I'm personally more concerned about the types of people who deliberately go out of their way to make weaker, less fortunate or perhaps stronger and more threatening people's lives harder and sadder.

On the note of dating: some of the best people I know feel the same way as you do. Where's the forum for that??? Just kidding. I desperately cling to the hope that there's really that "right guy" out there for me who thinks and feels the way I do about important things, such as morals and treatment of others, and he's just gonna be as happy to see me as I am so see him and Happily Ever After. Seriously, pretty desperate, because if I didn't cling to it, I wouldn't believe in love. Having said that, my hope builds when I encounter those who feel the same way and I agree with their self-assessment that they are a rare catch and deserve being found. Makes me feel like there's a group of great-catch singles out there like me, just looking for each other and I just have to keep scanning the horizon a little longer for him to appear.

I realize that your frustrations with the human race may be significantly different than mine, so I am not trying to insert my grudges in place of yours. I think we have the same feeling toward people for slightly different reasons.

As for advice, I'm new here, but I say listen to Leo Volont. He speaks truth, wisdom, tough love, and self-improvement pep talks all so eloquently.

I love that you're a writer and an actor. Ambitious, and I totally respect and support that. I hope we cross paths in 10 years at our awesome book signing/Screen Actors Guild Awards Ceremony. Feel free to send me your manuscripts for review and/or Skype to practice lines.

BigBrotherGrimm wrote:
I would like to but you make it seem like it's a matter of seconds to getting at peace with your life.
Maybe it's easier for you because you consider yourself a happy person and I generally do not.
Don't see this as an attempt to insult you (although I think you wouldn't care a bit), but I think you know by now how I feel about a lot of your posts. I don't think they are very useful lots of times and they are always the same.
I don't believe people can come to forgiveness or peace when they are in the midst of emotional turmoil.
Believe me I would like to resist the urge of feeling hurt or angry when my brother of sister or anyone tries to.
Lots of times they don't see my emotional reaction, but how will turning the other cheek solve the problem?
Why would I submit myself to ignoring how people I care about hurt and belittle me?

Also there is a difference between being truly grateful and at peace with your lifes relationships and saying you are
And I don't believe in faking it until you make it. I am an actor, but not in real life

Dear Mr. Grim,

Well, Julius is something of a paradox. Yes, he is always right. He’s a regular oracle of wisdom. We are lucky that he posts here so that we do not have to climb some mountain in Tibet and lay prostrate at his feet, and fast for three days, or whatever, before he deigns to vouchsafe his invaluable Wisdom to us. But like you said, on the receiving end of his Ultimate Wisdom we can only go “Huh?”. Yes, it is all very good advice, but what exactly is somebody supposed to actually DO with it?

Now, yes, I have read a lot of Anger Management books and have gone into therapy a few times myself, and what I have found that they mean by Choice, is that an Angry Person is supposed to make a solid resolution to participate in some positive therapy to change their lives. You are completely right. It does not take the matter of seconds. Not just the Therapy, but even coming to the point of making a Solid Resolution, even That takes a bit of time. It is all Process. The Mind has a lot of momentum and inertia of its own. It’s like a huge mile long cargo ship out at sea going at 35 knots. It’s not going to turn on a dime… its turning radius would be miles, and it would take tens of miles for it to come to a stop. Yes, to change metaphors, we must jump up on our own heads and take the reins and holler “Whoa!” and pull back hard, but the Mind is an awfully big horse and it is a bit stubborn, and one has to keep it up for quite a bit of time even before one even begins to get its attention.

You know how they say that we “use” only about 10% or 15% of our Minds. Well, that is kind of silly in that our complete Mind is always working for us. What they MEAN is that our conscious mind only has control over about 10 or 15%. What that means in effect is that we have to Holler “STOP!” almost 10 times before what they call the Subconscious Mind will hear us just once. The Analogy about the Big Horse is approximately right on. The Subconscious Mind is Big and Powerful, and we ourselves are this little Fly-Weight up in the saddle and the Big Horse hardly feels us up there. But if we only persist – pull the reins in hard on the bit, and dig in the spurs (oh, wait, I guess that would be the wrong thing to do… it’s been a while since I’ve been up in the saddle), well, we can eventually get through to the Big Horse; turn and stop the Huge Cargo Ship, and take charge of our own Minds. Julius is right. It’s our choice. And you are right. It won’t take a second.

Now, Mr. Grim, I could have swore that I recommended a book for you to read. “Cognitive and Dialectical Therapy Unleashed”, by James Ashley. But here you are posting again , complaining about how dissatisfied you are with your life. What you mean is that you are dissatisfied with what you Think about your life. You know, there are starving people in the Sudan, bombed out refugees in Syria, and people who have to live in New Jersey, and so you really need to wonder to yourself whether you really have anything to complain about. If you would only get this book and start reading it, you might begin to understand what I am talking to you about. You don’t have to be the miserable person you are. You can look into your valid and real options and decide to work on yourself and change things… change the way you see things and the way you behave toward things. You can eventually be all Peace and Love just like Julius… or maybe not quite that far. But you need to start listening to somebody, and why shouldn’t it be me. Have I said anything stupid? Have I pretended that it would all be easy? Have I tried to sell you anything? No, I have just acted as though I was your friend and you asked me for my advice. Well, I’m your friend, and so PLEASE stop writing in the same complaint, and begin to take the advice we are trying to give you. Julius is right. You have to make a Choice. You have to resolve yourself into making a big change in your life and the way you think about things. And I am willing to point you in the right direction. What more do you want from us?

Now, I think it is your turn. Try to pull your thoughts out of the same old negative and hateful groove, and read these posts more than once. Read what we have said to you twenty times… a hundred times… if that is what it will take for you to begin to understand what we are trying to tell you.

Sometimes a Person’s Head is all screwed up, but the only person who can really fix that is himself. He has to decide. Is He riding the Horse or is the Horse riding him? A man has to be a man or he isn’t much of a man, is he? Be a man and jump up in the saddle and try to mean business about it. Let’s see some swagger and character in you. You say you are an actor, well act like you care about yourself.