i feel so alone

Hi hart123,

I've been depressed myself and I can at least understand how difficult it is to be positive when we're in that state of mind. While it's tough to manage the feeling/control the feeling, we don't want this to affect our relationships so I keep reminding myself that this is not the normal me, that I am depressed. This way I don't project these feelings to my bf/family. Meanwhile, are there things that you enjoy doing even just by yourself? It would help if you keep thoughts pre-occupied with those. Also, try to exercise. It releases endorphins and can help get you out of your funk (even maybe for a little). There had been a lot of days when I didn't want to do it but I had to force myself. If that seems impossible right now, you may want to take baby steps and just try to get out of the house to get some sunshine

Thankyou so much for your response I like to dance but have struggled to motivate my self to do anything I am so scared that I gona push my partner away that would break my heart
I just want to beat this depression so I can get back to being the happy me it seems like a life time ago but in actual fact it was only matter of months ago that I was happy most of time but then I started getting flash backs from my past which brought my world crashing down my doc thinks it ptsd I suffering from I dont think I have ever felt so low ☹

It will be a slow progress. It would help if you keep reminding yourself that this is temporary and that this is not you. Go ahead and dance your sadness away

There's this youtube channel for a dance workout that I use for my cardio -- the channel is by "The Fitness Marshall". I don't know what kind of dance you're into, but the guy is funny so I don't get bored. Check it out.

Dance does norm make me feel good so I will try that I will force my self to get some motivation to start dancing again I wish it could be quick process to start feeling like me again today was really bad day I threw my meds back up and felt shocking all day
Do you really struggle with depression or are you good at fighting not letting it win ?

I am not depressed anymore, at least not right now anyway. It still happens once in a while but it's more of a PMS nowadays and goes away after a few days. When I was depressed, it happened for months and all I did was sleep. On the days that I didn't work, I took sleeping pills when I woke up so I can go back to sleep because I didn't want to think about anything - it was making me even more depressed. It was also coupled with anxiety. A therapist suggested that I see a psychiatrist to get meds but I didn't want that because of the possible side effects. I did struggle with it because I didn't have the energy to do anything -- I wouldn't eat, clean my place, didn't even shower for days, didn't go anywhere.. til I had to force myself and started getting myself outside of the house little by little. I can't say I'm good at fighting it because that is subjective. But yea, it was on and off, some days you think you're getting past it and then you find yourself going back into a foul mood... just have to remind yourself to keep pushing forward because you don't want to go back. My motivation at that time was that I will lose my job if I kept letting that happen and I don't have anyone to support me. It is definitely a process, it's not like an on/off switch. Nowadays when I feel down, I am able to handle it because I know I've experienced worse and was able to move past it.

It good that you managed to get better without medication it first time I have tried medication and I think it actually making me feel worse infact I sure they are I've been taking them for 21 days and out of that I can say 1'day was good the rest was bad I haven't worked in 5 weeks and I have a really good job which I afraid I will lose if I don't go back soon the side effects of the meds are seriously sh** I just want to get well again each day is a constant struggle i have never felt as bad as this in all my life i pushing everyone away i sit in my pjs day after day
It really good to see that it is possible to beat depression you seem to be living proof of that and it is uplifting as it means maybe I have a chance of beating it to

Aww it will take work but you will get there. It will help tremendously if you watch what you eat. That's what I highly recommend -- maybe start with cutting out processed food and sugar. That's what made it difficult for me too at that time, I didn't have the energy to cook or buy myself food so I just ate whatever's in the fridge -- ice cream most of the time (and that's if I feel like eating).

It is possible, hang in there. If you feel like you are pushing people away, try to communicate it to them. Anyone who cares about you will respect and understand you. I am on the other side this time. My bf is the one who's depressed. He didn't talk to me for 5 months (just very few one-liner texts in between), and has been vvverrry ssllllooowwwllllly coming back (but he's still mostly down). Prior to this happening he showed symptoms of depression and said he's sad, angry, felt like his life is worthless.... etc. If I was not aware of these things, I would have left and would have thought that he just didn't care.

Yeah I don't think I been eating to great and I know that can make a difference in mood I just lack energy to eat propley plus only meat i eat is chicken so wondering if changing my diet to eat read meat would help
Sorry to here that your bf having a tough time he will get there if he just take a day at a time and depression can come across like we don't care about people closest to us but we both know that's not true its just the illness drowns out how we really feel try's to replace it with negative feelings it is only tempory so your bf can definitely beat it

If you feel alone what's the connection with the chicken? Are you saying it's a conversational starter? If you want to eat chicken eat it, if you don't don't do it. Empower yourself, you will think differently with depression and it's sometimes how you feel which works out better. If your alone try meet up and going to college or grabbing a coffee. I had depression for five years and I'm still battling it now. Your not alone, you have guardian angels in spirit who look after you, you have your heart to comfort you and it's only the head telling you that your alone. You have your own company too. I'm sure there is nowt wrong with you. Chicken is lean anyway.