New boss asks questions rather than teach first.

**Posts:** 3 · by **SomeGuu** » Thu Jan 04, 2018 12:56 pm

Hi. I was after a personality type for my new boss. I am in sales. I can't peg it down. I usually can communicate with people easily from all walks and ages but he stumps me and makes it hard for me to think straight. What makes it harder is he shows no emotions really and has a stiff neck which he can't seem to move. I think that doesn't help me read him.

He mostly asks questions he knows I don't know and hasn't taught me and gets frustrated when I don't know the answer. Like when I went in before starting my first day. He asks "What time I think I should get there" I said you tell me. He asked again. I answered what I think. Explained I like to be early etc.

Rather than teach me how to sell the product on my first day he walks me up to it and asks me to tell him aboht it. I try. He asks me the capacity in millimeters and it's competitors when can see I am still trying to grasp the other 20 or so features it has.

He asks me if I have somewhere to record my to-do list then says my note book will be "ok for now" . Then when I make a simple spreadsheet template (to make it easier to follow) that I printed and kept in my draw so it was neat and out of the way. The same thing I did with my book. He got really annoyed and said I wasn't authorised to record my list this way and hide it in me desk. He needs to be able to check it in my book. If he asked for it I would have happily handed it to him.

My main struggle is he just always asks me questions right from day one that I couldn't know the answer to yet being new. But I could sense frustration in my not knowing the answers.

I'm used to being taught then asked.

It really hindered my learning. After a talk with him one day when I was really frustrated. I figured I just can't let it get to me. I like him but just don't get him so I didn't let it get to me. All of a sudden I start selling like I know I can.

I still get nervous when I know he is within earshot of me if I'm talking to a customer because it always feels like what I do is wrong. He will bit in like I'm an idiot if I don't know something.

I suddenly sell 6 or 7 items in the week I started actually relaxing and selling and I heard him say "well done today" as I walked out the door on 1 occassion. He said it again the other day when I sealed a deal easily that he probably thought I wouldn't. It almost feels like he doesn't want to tell me but does because he feels he has to.

Again I'm used to people telling you In a conversation regularly. "your doing good" or "Your doing OK, just try this and it will help".

I like where I work and like the people. Including him. I just some advice on how to handle my boss so I can relax and show him how good I know ow I can be.

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:19 pm

SomeGuu wrote:It really hindered my learning.

Again I'm used to people telling you In a conversation regularly. "your doing good" or "Your doing OK, just try this and it will help".

I like where I work and like the people. Including him. I just some advice on how to handle my boss so I can relax and show him how good I know ow I can be.

I joined the military when I was 17. The teachers (drill instructors) yelled, they tossed my things around, they were very aggressive and anytime I made a mistake or a fellow trainee made a mistake I would be required to do all sorts of physical activities. Sometimes I was required to clean toilets or wash dishes. What terrible educators, those mean drill instructors.

Please, tell me...give me some advice about how I was suppose to learn in that situation? Shouldn’t the drill instructors be nice and kind as to accommodate my learning, to adjust to me and my needs? Shouldn’t the drill instructors be telling me what I am use to hearing, that I am doing good or okay? Isn’t it all about me and my needs?

NO!!!!

This idea that your boss needs to educate you by adjusting to you, to meet your expectations, to teach you in the way you are used to is NOT the way the world works or should work. This idea that education should be delicately customized, handling one employee this way and another employee another way, and yet another employee a 3rd way is absolute crap.

I do understand, there is some merit to a leader, a boss not treating every employee the same. In education, I do understand that not all students can be treated the same, but we can go too far with this philosophy. At some point, it is the students responsibility to learn to adjust to the teacher.

Could your boss do a better job? Could your boss be a better teacher, a more positive educator, etc? YES. Absolutely your boss could improve. But, that is not where you need to focus.

Instead, there is another option, an option that is much better for you in the long run. That option is for you to focus on you, to focus on you improving, and for you to stop being a timid snowflake that needs constant positive reinforcement. That is where you need to spend your time and energy.

AND it sounds like you understand this. Your post sounds like you want to find ways for you to improve, ways for you to be less affected by the personality of your boss. And this is a good thing, because your boss will not be the only person in your life that doesn’t educate you in the manner that you desire.

Start working on your self confidence and your ability to handle criticism. Work on being okay with negative feedback. Consider the good that comes from developing your ability to be flexible and deal with all different types of people, educators, bosses, etc.

**Posts:** 3 · by **SomeGuu** » Thu Jan 04, 2018 8:09 pm

Sorry I should also have put in that I'm a trainee. The point of a trainee is to train. Not to just expect them to know ow it.

I teach myself. I watch and listen to countless hours of material.

My question wasn't how do I change my boss. It was how do I handle someone like that.

I've dealt with countless people in my life and nobody has ever brought me into to a new roll. Or even tried to teach me things by asking me questions I shouldn't know the answer to yet and getting frustrated when you don't know.

The point of putting the encouragement part in saying how people would normally talk to someone saying their doing good. Was to show the comparison. My point was it's really hard to even know if I'm progressing how he would like. When someone is expecting rather than teaching and when they do let you know your doing well it's when your your 15 meters away heading out the door and they virtually mumble it.

I'm no snowflake I can assure you that. I'm the type of person that gets their arm snapped back into place with no pain relief instead of driving 45 minutes to somewhere that can give it to me.

I've dealt with a few yelling and hard bosses. They were fine I understood them. They never purposely asked me questions (They knew I wouldn't know) to constantly make me wrong.

I asked in here about my new one because he is like no one I have ever dealt with. It had to explain a few things to hopefully give whoever responded enough to get a broad enough idea of his personality without typing novel on my phone.

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Thu Jan 04, 2018 8:54 pm

SomeGuu wrote:Sorry I should also have put in that I'm a trainee. The point of a trainee is to train. Not to just expect them to know ow it.

My question wasn't how do I change my boss. It was how do I handle someone like that.

What is your goal?

Are you afraid of being fired, of not being hired full time, of not being promoted or advancing? It doesn't sound like that. Your first post sounds like your trainer told you good job. It sounds like your trainer is not going to stand in your way or prevent you from becoming a part of the organization. Am I wrong?

After the military I went into law enforcement. After the academy, I had 3 training officers. One of my training officers was horrible. He was going through personal issues in his life, he gave lousy feedback, there were any number of things I can point out about his skill set as a training officer that I personally found deficient.

Now, here is the question...WHO GIVES A $#@%? What was my goal? My only real goal was to graduate from field training and be on my own. Sure, I could think about all the things I didn't enjoy, spending 10 hours a day trapped in a patrol car with this training officer that was not training the trainee the way I felt a trainee should be trained. As you said, that is the point, right? I 100% agree with you, the point of having a trainee is to train them. SO WHAT?

How I handled it, was I told this training officer, yes sir, no sir, no problem sir, whatever you want sir. He wasn't permanently my boss, it was a temporary thing lasting a month. And he gave me positive reviews, because I did a good job. He passed me as to move on.

So what am I missing?

Is this trainer your permanent boss as well? Is the training something that takes 6 months or a year? Do you have fear you will not graduate as a trainee? It sounded like you are making sales and you are learning, regardless if you find the trainer a challenge. I'm trying to think of possible reasons you would be so concerned about this trainer, instead of just moving forward and focusing on the end goal?

**Posts:** 3 · by **SomeGuu** » Thu Jan 04, 2018 9:16 pm

I am in training 6 months and he continues to be my boss after that.

Look. I'm going to just keep doing what I'm doing now. Not letting his games get to me. Working my butt off Learning all I can as quick as I can. Learning from others around me. The boss from another section sat me down and gave me some great advice that really helped.

I'll keep trying to exceed his expectations and try be one step ahead.

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Thu Jan 04, 2018 9:37 pm

It seems that you just don't like your boss, that you are frustrated or irritated because he doesn't do things the way you think they should be done. Your boss doesn't meet your expectations of what a boss should be. And you are probably right. More than likely this guy is a bad trainer and a bad boss.

Regardless, it doesn't change your situation. It doesn't change your options. I think your plan moving forward is good, because it may lead to other possibilities sooner rather than later, where you can transfer, get a promotion, etc.

One other thing, I would be very careful how you go about talking with other bosses or employees. Avoid gossip and avoid saying anything negative about your boss.

Anyway, best of luck to you. Honestly, I still don't understand what you're afraid of or how this boss is such a negative impact on your life. But, that's probably just me missing something or misinterpreting something in your posts.

**Posts:** 4 · by **Jeffrei** » Sat Jan 20, 2018 6:13 pm

It sounds to me like he is a guardian (five voices) xxTJ (Myers Briggs).

I'd do some reading into the guardian voice if I were you. Just go to the 5voices website.

New boss asks questions rather than teach first.

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