My Approach....

I just posted this in the Sleeping and Waking discussion, and it was in response to a post from "Allyswords". However, I just checked the date of the last post, and it was back in April. After having gone to the trouble of writing it down, I'd be a bit miffed if no one actually read it, so I've reposted it here... Allyswords was looking for a solution to her racing mind which prevents her from getting to sleep. and is (as I'm sure we all know) compounding her depression.


Dear Ally,

Right... I've never tried to convey this approach in writing before (I've shared it with a couple of people who have had clinical depression, and one chap who was suffering from a panic disorder leading to depression, and they all think its great), and I certainly think it'd be better to talk to you, but I really do think this will help. (I'm just aware that this is a totally avant garde method of dealing with depression... thats all).


I'm sorry to hear you are having a difficult period in your life. I go through the same thing from time to time, but recently have developed a solution which seems to work extremely well for me, and I haven't been depressed (or manic - I'm Bipolar) since. It's long winded because it needs to be, but read it through and see what you think. Also, I am making some assumptions as to EXACTLY whats on your mind here, but this is only meant to be as an example.... you seem to be going through exactly what I went through in terms of emotional turmoil, but on a conscious level our thoughts will always be different. Remember, its not what you are thinking... its why.

You sound like a very intelligent, articulate person, but unfortunately when you are depressed this can play against you (Roger Elliot called this spiralling mind effect "Introspection", and he's right on the money with that description!). In the past you have probably defined yourself through your opinions on various subjects and issues, and moral beliefs in life (which is completely normal, although the other main way is to define yourself by the way you look, dress, act... more of a superficial approach). The problem is, that if you like thinking about the world and what happens in it, about the sort of person you are, and if this is important to you, you will inevitably come to the conclusion that it is not a very nice place, and that people sometimes act in ways which are wrong, which cause either physical or more relevantly, emotional harm. You are obviously aware of this at a subconscious level as you exhibit the symptoms of someone who cares immensely about other peoples feelings, but who knows that this sensitivity and subsequent inaction is causing you no end of emotional grief. You don't want to tell your boss where to go because you don't want to make his/her or your life difficult, your inaction is linked to the fact that you DO define yourself through your thoughts and opinions at a given point in time... so therefore other people's definition of you will be slated if you make a mistake at work, make a poor decision or even simply disagree with someone... especially your boss. You then spend your time worrying about how it is possible to remedy the situation, and end up in banging your head against a brick wall by thinking "if I'd have just done this", "I shouldn't have done that" or "I should have said that"

Your mind is racing because you are looking for a solution to this problem.

The best thing to do is to try and define who you are (write it down in bullet form) and then remove from the list anything that relates to the following:

1. Things you do with your body (sports, listening to/playing music, drinking/socialising, observing life, little habits you have like talking to yourself/thinking out loud, smoking/drugs etc, the way you dress). If you are doing one of these activities one minute, but not the next, and you still feel like "yourself" on both occasions, then it naturally follows that neither activity is a defining factor of "who you are." Neither is intrinsicly indicative of "Your" "Self"

2. Anything you do with your conscious mind that is linked to the passing of time. If you are thinking about something one minute and something else the next, but you feel like "yourself" on both occasions, then it naturally and logically follows that neither thought is a defining factor of "who you are". etc

EMOTIONS.

Emotions are feelings which are linked to specific times and places.

i. When you are on a rollercoaster you can feel exhilarated, scared, happy.
ii. If you got in a fight/arguement you would feel scared, angry or aggressive.
iii. If you got married you may feel nervous, anxious, elated, euphoric.

The point is... different people have different emotional reactions to different circumstances. Now, if you think back to one of these situations... do you FEEL the same emotional reaction that you had at the time? Do you feel the same as the exact moment when you are arguing with your boss? Do you mentally and emotionally feel like you're actually on a Rollercoaster just by thinking about it? I certainly don't. If I did I would spend the rest of my life thinking about when I saw "The Black Crowes" play live in Sheffield in 1995. I'd never get anything done.

The questions that you must answer is "what (emotion) can I feel just by thinking about it, irrespective of time?" and "what (emotion) do I feel even when I'm not thinking about/acting on it?"

And the answer is Love. I know you're studying philosophy, so I can ellaborate on this by saying its "Agape" rather than "Eros" or "Philia" (http://www.iep.utm.edu/l/love.htm) . This could be the love between a man and woman, parent and child, person and cat/dog, between good friends. Remember though... you're not thinking about "what" you love about someone, just focus on the emotion. Think of your parents, your boyfriend, your pet.... you love them irrespective of their actions (sometimes what makes life so painful AT TIMES!)

If you find your mind racing... just repeat to yourself "I am not my thoughts, I AM my love", try and feel that emotion and you will find that you can actually stop thinking.

I know you have been at your wits end, but this approach works for me (and a couple of friends who have had similar problems!). There's alot of info here, and just like a good record, it might take a couple of listens before you really begin to appreciate it. This kind of approach can be linked to any of the world major religions (I'm not religious though) and cultures, so irrespective of your background you should be able to benefit from it. Also, any questions post it on the board or email me if you don't want to share.

On a more light hearted note, and in the name of shameless self promotion, please check out my website. I'm an unsigned songwriter, but all my music was written while I was either Manic or depressed. See what you think. You'll need a broadband connection to listen though. www.davidgow.moonfruit.com

Dave.