depression in my husband

Hi Mel,

I am a new member and read your story from earlier this year with great interest and understanding. I am going through a very similar situation with my husband at the moment. We have been together 13 years and last year we had our first child who is now 13 months. My husbands moods started changing last Nov. He became irritable/moody/nasty and did not want to spend any time with us. He began accusing me of controlling his life and never having any freedom. The crunch came this year in May when he moved out and went back to live with his mum. I realised he was suffering from depression a few weeks later. His attitiude and mood towards me changed immediately he moved out. He became kinder, more caring and basically started to spend more time with us. Ironic really as he started doing all the things he refused to do when he lived at home.
It has been really difficult as like you in the beginning I know that our relationship can work and become stronger even though he cannot see it at the moment.
If I ask him now where he thinks things willl end up - his response depends on what kind of mood he is in. If he is in a good mood - he says us working things out could be an option. If he is in a bad mood then he says this is not an option. Its really difficult to keep positive about things, especially when you have firends and family who do not really understand and think I am probably being stupid and naieve for continuing to stand by and support him.
Each week I can see the old person slowly coming back in him, but if any pressure is put on him he immdieately resolves back to puting a front on and becoming cold and distance. He has started going out alot with his mates drinking as he has told me this is the only way he can shut everything off for a few hours and sleep properly when he goes home.
I have just learnt to take each day as it comes and are just trying to be patient with him for as long as i can. I am just hoping that by trying to help him feel good about himself will bring him out of this depression, as he point blank refuses and help what so ever, and if I try to talk to him about depression he immediately denies this and shuts off completely.
If anyone else is experiencing similar problems I would be really grateful to hear back

CT