i feel lost and hopeless don't have a desire to live

**Posts:** 3 · by **lisa.cmt** » Tue Aug 29, 2017 9:08 pm

im 24 female I suffer from clinical depression ,low self esteem and anxiety. I have a past of quitting jobs and relationships sometimes for no reason . Im currently unemployed and I barely have any friends. I push people away or have no desire to build friendships.

Im currently in a relationship with a man that is a sex addict but I'm living with him because i love him but also depending on him for financial stability. I feel i have a impulsive personality i spend money all the time and never save.I put myself in these situations i coddle moved out and saved money but I'm just too dumb and irresponsible.

Yesterday i thought about suicide I have no passion or motivation .I feel lost and confused almost numb.I wake up everyday with a cloudy feeling lifeless and depressed.I struggle with low self esteem issues and self image.Pretty much I'm a mental freak show. I have anxiety with meeting new people and dating .I finally scheduled an appt to see a psychiatrist this week but I'm afraid nothing will help me any advice or just encouraging words will help .Sorry I feel like a sad victim complaining about life .I know people are in worse situations then me .

**Posts:** 3 · by **Shaera** » Wed Aug 30, 2017 4:56 pm

I'm really sorry to hear that.
I can't offer any help cause I'm dealing with the same lack of motivation or passion right now. But if you ever need to talk about any topic, you can talk to. The good thing about these forums is people can talk anonymously and without any judgement, which sometimes is not possible in real life. So you can message me if you want to.

Really hope you feel better soon

**Posts:** 2 · by **fazedout** » Fri Sep 01, 2017 1:23 pm

You've taken a step to seek help which is a HUGE step. I am not a depressed person myself but my close friend was in a similar situation to you - she was constantly saying nothing would help her, she was unfixable.. she finally sought out help and a year later she is a completely new person. She said that finally seeking treatment was the first step to her recovery. You might have a long road, but you're already walking it. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

**Posts:** 34 · by **Dog** » Fri Sep 01, 2017 6:17 pm

It's hard and you feel like it will never end. But trust me you can feel better with help. I've been there and to be honest I dip in and out of that hopeless feeling. I can't meet girls because I'm shy and I feel ugly so I feel like I will be alone forever. But other times I can be happy at little things in life that really cheer me up.
Talk to people find old friends get professional help it can and will get better

**Posts:** 9885 · by **Candid** » Sat Sep 02, 2017 6:29 am

Depression, poor self-esteem, anxiety, avoiding people, 'loving' unsuitable partners, financial instability, poor affect regulation (being impulsive), hopelessness and frequent suicidality are all symptoms of Complex PTSD, Lisa.

http://www.pete-walker.com/fAQsComplexPTSD.html

**Posts:** 1554 · by **laureat** » Sat Sep 09, 2017 2:30 am

I feel like nothing will help you said:

Words cannot do magic but they can give you magical directions to lead you where you should be, where you want to be, and the problem is that you may not even know what you want, how to take control of your life, so as a result of all that frustration you just want to give up run away from living, On that case words can help to give you directions as you are frustated with everything and fresh people can help with the words give you ideas, directions that all may have positive effect and finally your become happy, so based on all that it means: words can help you, words do magic ,

i feel lost and hopeless don't have a desire to live

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