hi thanks for your response.
to be honest im scared of going to the doctors as they will probably lock me away for ever the way i am going at the minute. my partner wont let me out on my own at all , i was invited out twice earlier by his siters, one time to go to the local shops and the other time to go round for a girly night but he said i couldnt go. i cant really argue about it as he refuses to watch the kids and walks out. i dont know anyone but his family here so i dont have anyone to actually help. i also have no friends here as i moved here recently to be with him.
when we argue he goes to his family and says stuff about me, he told them i hit him the other week which i admitted to but he tells them all stuff which is untrue.
i do love him but a lot of our time is spent arguing, when i try to stand up to him it mentally drains me. i havent been violent before but he says i am a bad mum etc which hurts as i never leave my kids with no one and always do stuff with them and he says i deserve bad stuff that happened in the past which i told him about as i wanted to be honest but when we argue he brings it all up.
i have said i will go to anger management and have asked him to get help also but he said it is me who needs it not him. sometimes he is honest and admitshe shouldnt act like he does and says i can go out more like to his sisters or the shops but it nevers happens.
sorry for going on but i dont know what to do anymore.
i dont dare talk to the doctor about this as the doctor will probably think im an idiot. i think this is all why im depressed as i felt the same whilst pregnant so dont think its particulary post natal depression just the fact im fed up with it all.
i feel angry as i moved here with my other two children to be with him and have changed there life around totally but if i leave him i dont know what will happen. i dont want to argue with him, i want to enjoy stuff with him but its too hard.
sos should i post on the manically depressed board instead
cheers
cal