Do I need professional help?

Frankly, this sounds like a recipe for disaster. I presume you and your husband are both very young, and you're going to have to stick together on this. These days there's no reason for shotgun weddings so I presume your man loves you. He's going to have to grow up fast (you both are!) and stand up to his father.

You might benefit from a mediation session at which the two of you, his father (and mother?) all discuss your expectations of each other. If your husband can't get his father to behave decently, tell your GP or health worker you want to be referred for mediation. What you can expect is that you, your husband and his father will each have a chance to talk about your feelings in the presence of a disinterested party who will make sure things don't get out of hand. The end result is an agreement that everyone can live with.

Your husband is going to struggle if he's caught between you and his dad, and you're going to have trouble all down the track if you can't make peace with your baby's grandfather.

I wish you luck!

My husband and I love each other and we have a good marriage other than the fact that his father does not like me. The reason his father doesn't like me is because I am from a different country and I am the same age as my husband. He disliked me from the moment he heard about my nationality. If it is anything else, I can try to fix it, but these are the things I cannot change. Another thing that really worries me is that my father in law really loves the grandchild, he always says things like he is going to take the baby away from me and not let him see me anymore. If we are all together and the baby wants me instead of him, he gets upset and says things like "the baby shouldn't spend too much time with his mother". I just absolutely dread him now.

Your father-in-law can't take the baby from you and your husband, so don't fret over that. He sounds a bit odd, to be truthful.

Best thing is for you and your husband to take good care of each other and the baby, and maybe laugh at the old man. If your husband is strong enough to stand up to his father, he should be doing that whenever father-in-law gets out of hand.

Some handy things for your husband to say: "Dad, you did such a brilliant job raising me that [your name] and I are more than capable of raising [child's name]."

"If you keep saying this kind of thing, we won't visit you for a while. We want your support and to have a happy family, and [your name] is a part of that."

He should be speaking up whenever your father-in-law says something hurtful. If he doesn't recognise when something is hurtful, you need to be able to speak up yourself... but you need your husband's full support.

appletree wrote: Should I seek for professional help?

The father in law should. He's possibly a control freak.

appletree wrote: Should I seek for professional help?

The father in law should. He's possibly a control freak.

I agree with Candid's advice, you may need mediation. But your husband may have to become a little more assertive with his father. An assertiveness training program may help him. It is part of our self-help psychotherapy course.

Hello AppleTree,

How old are you and your husband?

What country/state/region/province (without being too too terribly specific, of course to protect your personal privacy...) do you all live in?

The Laws, and of course, I am not an attorney, only a Relationship Coach and certified professional hypnotist, just the laws vary by age and location.

Good luck to you all!

AprilBraswell
HypnoTalkToday