I'm not depressed but I want to cut...

I don't think it makes you troubled or crazy to have the urge to do it, but I don't necessarily think you should follow through on it, as it might make you feel guilty to do it, and it's not a very healthy activity.

Physical pain makes you release feel good chemicals and if you're like me and have a very high pain tolerance then feeling a little physical pain is actually a really great stress reliever (in healthy ways and small doses). E.g. getting a really heavy duty massage. I will often get my girlfriend to hit my back for me really hard over and over just cause it feels so good, like as hard as she can possibly hit as it doesn't hurt me in the way other people feel it, just feels good to me. I have similar feelings about cutting but would never do it now as I relate it to a bad psychological state, but I know it would feel good.

There's lots of related non-western cultural phenomena that show that people enjoy physical pain and it relieves their emotional pain or just enhances their feeling of well-being even if they aren't in emotional pain. Think Ironshirt, where the guy gets beaten with a wooden stick, or people who get the hooks in their back and are suspended in the air. And exercise in general has a similar effect so if you want the feeling that cutting gives you then start working out hard.

In summary I would say don't feel bad about feeling the desire to cut -- I used to do it when I was in psychological pain because it felt good, and the desire never truly left me and I don't feel bad about it, I actually think it's kind of cool to have this unusual relationship with physical pain -- but I would never cut again as I don't think it's psychologically or physically healthy. There are much better ways to enjoy this same type of pleasurable physical feedback from your body like endurance running or whatever. Keeping in mind anyone can get addicted to anything so never overdo it.

Please dont cut yourself, if you go to a psychologist it will be better. solve your problems and enjoy life. Life can be beautiful, rly. Change your life and dont cut yourself!
Good luck!

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