I can't get myself to work

For 10 years I have not been bale to get myself to do any long-term work. I've gotten increasingly lazy to the point where I avoid mental effort, sitting on my donkey and watching shitty tv or reading shitty novels is basically all I do at this point, I occasionally play video games (I used to love gaming more than anything, now I need to be in the right mood to be willing to put up with the mental effort to do something so god damn simple...)

I've had ups and downs of course, I once managed to start every day with some light bodyweight exercise for 1 or 2 months, then I missed out 1 day, just 1 (it was out of my control I just couldn't do it in that one morning) and it just stopped there. I thought it was supposed to be a habit long before that point right? Apparently not. Not really anyways.

I've used mental tricks like thinking smaller, you know, instead of deciding to go do a full set of pushups and squats I just go for one pushup, and then I can quit or keep going as I please, but keeping this kind of thought process up is just not easy, I mean I've tried but where I want to go, and the minimum possible level of effort are conflicting ideas because I know that if I just did that minimum effort every day for the rest of my life, then for most things I would not reach my end-goal before I die. So this trick while it does work to get me started it depends on the weather whether I can get in that mindset or not.

At first it was starting that was hard for me, once I started something I'd usually keep going till completion or failure. But now starting is only half the battle for me, keeping up till completion is the other half, keeping on retrying after failure is the hardest part.

There's no immediate urgency for me to work, I'm on welfare which covers my basic living expenses, and ideally I'd want to make use of all the free time that gives me to do something neat. I have a few projects I want to work on, develop a game here, a website there, some artwork on the side, there'll be some learning involved in all of these but they are things I can learn as I do them (rather they're things I can only learn as I do them). And you know what I think it's fun, I like doing all those things. When I go outside for whatever reason and I end up bored there, my mind immediately goes to "man, I wish I was at home drawing right now" or maybe I imagine how that website should look, try to do a little design work on the go to kill the time.

My mind never goes to "man, I wish I was at home watching this movie/reading this book/playing this game". It used to 10 years ago but it never happens now, I always can't stop thinking of these projects I want to do when I'm bored.

But then, after maybe being outside for a couple of hours, hyping up how much drawing I'll get done when I get home, I sit down in front of the computer, and instead of photoshop or visual studio I open a webnovel or netflix, maybe (occasionally) a game. This happens for no other reason than because it's the path of least resistance, because I don't 100% know how to complete all these other things, because none of them are 100% inside my comfort zone (maybe not even 50% in my comfort zone even). It happens because I'd have to put in some mental effort. Or at least that's what I'm assuming, I could be wrong of course, I've had 10 years to figure it out and no self-help tricks or psychologist I've visited has really done the trick. None of them even had a lasting impact on this issue.

I'm just out of ideas. I might not be the most motivated to work, I might not be that ambitious, but there's no denying the spark is there, it's something I want to do even if it might not all be easy to accomplish. But every time it's time to get to work, to do the damn thing, I drop the ball. Everytime it's time to bring ideas from my imagination to reality, to follow my own plans, it just doesn't happen. At first it was just infinite procrastination, now it's just like whenever I try to start working, just take the first step, all my motivation gets zapped and my mind just completely forgets about it and I go do something (anything) else.

What am I supposed to do? How can I gain control over my life? What the hell is wrong with me?