Little help

**Posts:** 1 · by **topherpunch** » Mon May 27, 2013 3:16 am

I wasn't sure which forum to post this in, as there are so many places. This is myself in a nutshell, perhaps someone can tell me my issues.

I was born in Rhode Island, raised in Florida, lived in Rhode Island a few more years and grew up in New hampshire till I was about 26. I have never had true friends I thought i did when I was 15, but that soon changed when I quit smoking Marijuana and my friends stopped visiting me, or even wanting to hang out with me.

My aunt is schizophrenic, so was my grandfather on my fathers side. My father left my biological mother when I was 6 months old. My father is also a manic depressive, who is gay. Depression and anxiety runs in my family.

As for me, I have anxiety sometimes and am frequently depressed, also i am pretty sure I have attachment issues. I took the Myers Briggs personality test and intj is my result, funny thing is I find it to know more about me than I know about myself.

I am over weight and find myself to be lazy. I do not like to talk with people because when I do I say something that messes up the relationship and I end up being very sad, and normally blame it on the other party for something I likely did. I can't stand hanging out with my father because I feel I am just like him and it irritates me, even though I try to make it a point to do things differently than he does, but I can still see him in my personality.

I have an online girlfriend that I love, yet she is a wreck and I don't think she will ever want to meet in real life, which has lead me to seek other things out in other place, which I don't want to do at all.

Online video games is what I do in my spare time, but I find I want to do something meaningful, yet when I try something I find I do not finish it, I cannot focus on something that is boring to me.

My focus is all out of wack, I want to do something, yet I lose interest very quickly. Examples, I have written children books, game stories, started a blog, multiple websites, tried programming (went to school for this and found out I was wasting my time, spent to much time and now I owe a ton of money), joined two teams in total to make a game but each has failed, tried to learn how to make a game myself but I cannot focus on it long enough to stay with it. Everytime I try to do something I get bored because I want to hang out with my online girlfriend, but when I am doing that I am extremely bored, yet I don't seem to do anything else.

I am always tired, bored, and depressed. I work as a fed ex courier, but I have a hard time being social with my co workers, mostly because when I talk to people I find flaws very quickly and think they are stupid, but they aren't, they are just flaws. I can't stand someone else thinking badly of me, or thinking my intellect is low, even though it quite possibly could be.

Well now that I typed it all out I would say I am a wreck. Can anyone tell me what is wrong with me?

**Posts:** 10113 · by **JuliusFawcett** » Mon May 27, 2013 9:45 am

Hi topherpunch,

Thanks for your story,

We are all unique and different in our own right. There is no sense in comparing ourselves with other people or competing with other people. There is sense in celebrating ourselves and being the best version of ourselves that we can be.

Following the path of happiness is the key to this. As long as we are doing no harm to ourselves or anyone else, choosing to do what makes us happy in this moment is our true purpose. The reason for suffering is to encourage us to change the way that we think or to change the way that we act.

The past is over, it is just a story that we tell ourselves, and when we decide not to reread that story the past just fades away. The future is also not real, it is an imagination, it is the field of all possibilities, it is the birthplace of all creation. Take a look around you, everything that you see was first imagined. We can use our imagination to create a beautiful future where we are consistently happy and then we can move towards that future one loving thought at a time.

Love is the healing force. Love dissolves fear, love dissolves anger, love dissolves guilt, blame, tension, sorrow, resentment. Learn how to love yourself more, appreciate yourself more, respect yourself more. Eat the right amount of a healthy diet, drink the right amount of healthy drinks, choose a wonderful balance between work, rest and play, choose to think consistently positive thoughts, look after your appearance more, tidy up your living environment more.

You are wonderful, you are magnificent, you are beautiful, you are capable, you are strong. Believe in yourself more, you can do it. I know you can.

Here's a video I made that could help you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6vx8GZ-Ok4

I hope this helps. Peace, love and harmony

**Posts:** 37 · by **success256** » Thu May 30, 2013 3:09 pm

Hello

I read your post. Whatever your life has been till now can be changed.
You can take control of your life and make it work for you.

All of us have background stories and disillusionments but forget
about them. The more you focus on life's ills and problems the more you will attract them.

Remember Like attracts like.

I am sure there may have been many bright aspects in your life focus on that.

To attract the good in life be grateful for life itself when you wake each morning
and every step as the day progresses remember to be grateful for small things
too, and thank the Almighty for the beautiful day that passed.

Repeat to yourself: All the good of life is coming to me.
Keep this affirmation in your mind day in and day out.

Go out there and help someone less fortunate then yourself.
Don't waste your life. Make it unique involve in something
worthwhile.

Remember You are the Captain of your life and the master of your
destiny.

**Posts:** 20 · by **timeexiled** » Fri May 31, 2013 7:47 am

Hi..

First things first, you have good writing skills! Normally long posts I would read few lines and skip. Yours was different, well written.

I think you need to come to terms with few things, one your test results, two- your online girl friend etc. If you want you can change the one thing in life and that is you. Find the thing which interests you the most and go for it.

have a great life!

**Posts:** 52 · by **legacyinthemakingmagazine** » Mon Jun 03, 2013 9:57 am

Don't think about negative things about yourself..These are the cause of all other problems in your life..Just think all the positive things that you have in your life..It will encourage you to do live a great life.. Like you have good writing ability as you post is too long and well written (Also said by other member)..You may have many other qualities like this writing skill..So concentrate on those things and keep busy yourself in those things..

**Posts:** 7 · by **Luk** » Wed Jul 03, 2013 6:04 am

Your story is a very interesting.

Little help

#1

#2

#3

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#5

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