We Can't Always Agree, But We can be Polite

Dear Everyone,

Recent Posts and my responses have brought something to my notice, and that is that, while I may disagree with them in the most sensitive, urbane and polite manner, they simply see any form of ‘disagreement’, offered in even the most gracious way, as some flagrant insult to their honor, as some terrible wrong that has to be redressed. In short, if I disagree, they respond angrily, exhibiting hurt feelings, urge for revenge, and indignation that I should be so abusive of their cherished opinions, etc.

Well, of course, as anybody with a feeling heart and sympathy for the plight of all living creatures, I could understand how disagreeing with them could hurt their feelings.

But there is Intellectual Integrity to consider. I come from a University background, and I’ve been trained by repeated habit to stand by conclusions that I believe are backed up by substantial empirical evidence, and to surrender my opinions only if new evidence causes reason for significant doubt, but not just because my disagreement may hurt somebody’s feelings. Respect for the assumed Truth, above all, is the first… really the only obligation of an Intellectual.

But then there are the sensitive matters upon which we may disagree. Let’s say that somebody writes in and says that they are disgusted about how all the rules and moral expectations of Society hold them back, and it is so frustrating, and so they have decided to ignore all such instances of judgmental thinking and simply do what they feel best for their own personal development… particularly in regards to making a lot of money fast.

Now, of course, if these person’s actions could well be assumed to be in total isolation to the rest of Society, then, certainly, God Bless them and all and their efforts toward Prosperity. But with the implied admission that they would violate all of Society’s Norms, Values and Ethics to achieve their own personal ends, well… do you see my problem?

It is kind of the same as with somebody who writes in and says they want to be a mass murderer. One can be sympathetic and try to strike up a rapport, in order to be in a better position to help, but, in the end, one simply cannot agree.

Our World has adopted a belief Individual Self-Sufficiency. Those who survive, well, they survive, but those who don’t, well, they were not very Self-Sufficient, were they? The Rich act like Predators and prey upon the poor, and when the poor succumb to those concentrated and brutal ravages and predations, well, it is only lamented that the poor couldn’t have been more ‘competitive’, better educated, well, in fact, more like the people who intentionally destroyed them. The Poor are blamed because they could not defend themselves against insuperable odds. WelI, don’t believe that is right… or I mean, I don’t ‘think’ it is right. It’s just not because I am sentimental. I’ve studies too much History. Every Civilization, and there have been 21 Civilizations, have collapsed, and all because of the Same Thing, and that was because of the rise and dominance of that one Belief – Individual Self Sufficiency. For Civilizations to maintain and survive, they must believe in Interdependency and Cooperation. When Civilizations fragment down to Individuals all acting for their own individual interests , well, doesn’t that mean that there is no Civilization anymore? No? Am I wrong somehow?

So, as much as I can sympathize with people who want to take money away from other people, and violate them sexually, and murder them, well, when they write in, I simply have to take the chance that I might upset them and hurt their feelings, and then find some charming and tactful way to disagree with them. And then hope they don’t throw a tantrum about how abused and insulted they feel.

We can’t always agree intellectually, but we should still agree to be friends and to be polite.