Leaving a horrible working environment.

**Posts:** 4 · by **PennyLane84** » Sat Apr 04, 2015 3:35 pm

Hello everyone,

This is my first post and I really need help.
6 months ago I got a job that I thought would be a dream come true! One of my best friends was working for a company that desperately needed to fill in a position and she asked me if she could put me in touch with her boss. I would never have been given this job if it weren't for the fact that they needed someone FAST. The boss wasn't even interested in me giving her a CV! She just gave me the job. 6 months later and now I know why there was a position to fill. The person before me, like most people I work with or who have worked for my boss, suffered a full blown nervous break down and quit.
My boss demands unpaid overtime, she humiliates employees in front of colleagues and clients, she underpays, she is always angry or tries to turn employees against each other by making up gossip. She is a nightmare! I have put on 13kg since I started working there, I am miserable, stressed anxious and cry everyday. At night I wake up 5 or 6 times due to nightmares about work! Everyone I know, including my doctor says I should quit. Even I think I should but there are 2 things stopping me:
-First, my best friend who got me the job. I don't want the boss taking my departure out on her and her resenting me for it. I don't want it to look bad on her. Plus if I leave, she will have to cover my job until a replacement is found and she already has enough on her plate. I don't want her to be upset with me.
-Second, I actually only have just under 4 months left on my contract. A part of me is like "just suck it up!". Would I be giving in too easily by leaving now?
I realize some of you may think that if I work my notice then a replacement will be found and my friend won't be burdened by my departure but normally my notice would last a month and I have seen first hand what my boss is like to people who quit and work their notice. Working my notice isn't feasible because I feel too close to a nervous breakdown and couldn't handle her being any worse to me than she already is. Either I just up and quit or wait until the end of my contract... Help?

**Posts:** 53 · by **midaz** » Sat Apr 04, 2015 4:42 pm

First, welcome here Penny, and thanks for sharing your situation !

Humm I'm not an expert but what I think is that you should definitively leave. Why? For many reasons : the first one is that you should never take decisions depending on how it will affect others before thinking about you. You are clearly not happy and each day you are going to work it is worst and worst, don't destroy yourself more it is ridiculous to suck up all the positive energy only because you are afraid of the consequences on your friend. Also, your friend will understand why you are leaving if she is a good friend which she looks like!
Secondly, your boss is curently using fear to manipulate you. Fear should never be something that stop you from making decisions. There are two types of fears : the one that block you from taking a decision because you are afraid of the conclusion and intimidation. You should never let someone walk on your feet even if this is your employee. I think she already did enough, she didnt gave you respect, why should you respect her back?

You have two choices : lift yourself by facing the fears or kill yourself by being the slave of your own negativity ... it is your choice

This is my oppinion , I hope it helps you

Midaz

**Posts:** 4 · by **PennyLane84** » Sat Apr 04, 2015 5:59 pm

Thank you Midaz

I was afraid I'd be told to stop being selfish or something!
I believe what you say is true and I think it's what I must do. You are correct about her using fear because the idea of quitting TERRIFIES me because I feel guilty and responsable which is ridiculous because I should put myself first... No one else will!
Now, if I could just find some balls

**Posts:** 53 · by **midaz** » Sat Apr 04, 2015 6:04 pm

Don't worry, it is difficult but just think about how much stress will be release from that ... it will be life changing

And with a beautiful smile in your face, you will find something else thats for sure

I have 2 balls and im not that better so yeah ahahahah

**Posts:** 84 · by **insights** » Sat Apr 04, 2015 7:29 pm

I don't think you should ever stay in a position where you are blatantly disrespected. Secondly, you are not working for someone who values their employees at all and as an employer AND leader, it is essential. I would recommend leaving soon, especially since it is affecting your personal health. There is no position in the world worth it.

If there is any debate in regards to your contract, I would lay it out and tell this person exactly what you have shared and that it is not an atmosphere that is healthy for you.

As far as your friend goes, if they choose to stay in an environment such as this, its on them. You owe them nothing and if they don't respect you and see the pain this is causing you, I would question what kind of friend you have.

**Posts:** 4 · by **PennyLane84** » Mon Apr 06, 2015 12:55 pm

Thank you for your replies

I believe that you are both right and I do think that's what I have to do. I am trying to motivate myself to do it, it's just every now and again, just when I think "I can do this" something inside of me says "But you have less than 15 weeks left, just hack it!"...
I suppose I just have to take the leap and no regrets... It's funny how people can be more concerned with how other people feel and what other people think of them rather than what is best for them...

**Posts:** 53 · by **midaz** » Mon Apr 06, 2015 3:53 pm

You can do it

Don't give up and never let somebody break you

you are amazing, shine and it will gives other the freedom to shine too!

You are awesome!

Have a nice day Penny

Midaz

**Posts:** 4 · by **PennyLane84** » Mon Apr 06, 2015 4:25 pm

"Shine and it will give others the freedom to shine too"
I like that

I am going to quit. I am going to talk to my friend of my decision and hope she understands me. But if she doesn't I simply have to do this for me. I will hand in my notice and leave once it is done. And then I will spend some time on me to pick up the pieces and be happy again.
Thank you for being on my side

**Posts:** 53 · by **midaz** » Mon Apr 06, 2015 7:34 pm

Give us a feedback

Have a nice day

Midaz

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