Gosh, I didnt know if I should post in the depression forum or the anxiety and panic attacks forum.....I'm having quite the run of both of them the last couple days. I have been back to work for 7 days now and I feel like I am sinking lower and lower, my boss has been HORRIBLE to me, just horrible. I'm not sure what to do about the situation, I guess my next visit would be to our HR dept, but I am so terrified of making even more waves. I'm just a wreck about what to do. I want to ask for a differnt boss since there are 5 of them to chose from. I dont know what to do.
Tonight my husband is out fishing and I was doing okay for awhile, then broke down and had me a dandy of a panic attack. I called my mother and talked to her for 45 minutes. At first I was hyperventilating and crying all at the same time, she didnt know what to do. We talked about all the good things in my life....my husband, my dogs, that I can walk around and am able bodied, I can chose to do things, and that I am alive. She tried so hard to bring me back down to earth and she did pretty good. Before the panic attack I kept thinking about how I am a NOBODY, I am NOTHING. My mind kept repeating it over and over, why does that happen? When will this depression and panic end?
Anybody feel this way too?
Need some confidence!!!
3 posts
• Page 1 of 1
by briary » Wed Aug 04, 2004 2:44 am
Hi Happyface
I'm sorry you're having such a bad time at the moment. When I worked my boss was known to be a bit of a bully and she seemed to target me, I think because she knew I wouldn't be able to stand up to her. Having to deal with a problem boss at work can make life difficult.
I also have problems with depression and suffer anxiety and panic attacks due to a social phobia. I know all too well the negative thoughts you mention and I feel that I'm worthless and a waste of space.
I'm afraid I can't tell you when the depression and panic will end. I'm still struggling to cope with mine.
You might like to look at the post in the Depression forum about 'Enjoyment Goals'. You might find it helpful to do something nice for yourself.
Take care,
Briary
I'm sorry you're having such a bad time at the moment. When I worked my boss was known to be a bit of a bully and she seemed to target me, I think because she knew I wouldn't be able to stand up to her. Having to deal with a problem boss at work can make life difficult.
I also have problems with depression and suffer anxiety and panic attacks due to a social phobia. I know all too well the negative thoughts you mention and I feel that I'm worthless and a waste of space.
I'm afraid I can't tell you when the depression and panic will end. I'm still struggling to cope with mine.
You might like to look at the post in the Depression forum about 'Enjoyment Goals'. You might find it helpful to do something nice for yourself.
Take care,
Briary
- briary
- Moderator
- Posts: 11010
- Joined: Wed Jul 07, 2004 11:55 am
- Location: East Sussex
- Likes Received: 0
by jurplesman » Wed Aug 04, 2004 3:40 am
I can relate to to your story, because before the time I did not know what I know today (about 50 years ago) I went through the same stress situation as you describe. This was a dark period in my life.This prompted me to study psychology and become a psychotherapist. But believe me there are answers.
I would like you to understand that your psychological experiences has two aspects; 1) physiological and 2) psychological.
The first one is the most important, because the psychological aspects follows from the first.
The physical aspect can be described as you producing too much adrenaline, the panic hormone. This hormone responds to a sudden drop in your blood sugar level. Proof: drink something sweet when you have an attack and within minutes the attack disappears!
But this is also the wrong treatment for your panic attacks, because it can only aggravate the underlying causes of unstable blood sugar levels.
The sugar instability is caused by insulin resistance, that blocks the action of insulin in transporting glucose across cell membranes. Hence blood sugar level rise and the body pumps even more insulin into the blood stream, until it triggers a sudden hypoglycemic dip. This is seen by the brain as energy starvation, It will send messages to the adrenal glands to secrete adrenaline (converting stored sugar into glucose) feeding the brain again.
The non-drug treatment for this is the adoption of the hypoglycemic diet. This diet stops the production of excess adrenaline. Give it three months.
Once you are on the hypoglycemic diet (its effects will be apparent in about three months) you can start looking at the psychological aspects. Having hypoglycemia since probably your childhood means that you must have suffered form a low self-esteem, simply because you had no control over the internal physiological reactions. You might have thought for a long time: “this is all my fault’.
We have a self-help PSYCHOTHERAPY course at our web site, that starts off with a consideration of the self-image. I use concepts from Transactional Analysis (TA) to explain how the self-image is created by the critical PARENT EGO within ourselves. This is just a reservoir of habits of thought - learned responses - whenever you think of yourself. This ego does not respond to rational debate, because like a doggie it has been trained to behave (respond) in a certain way. You can retrain a doggie, but cannot debate with it!
The self-image can be seen as learned sentences like “I am stupid”, where the adjective is something negative. Because they have been learned, THEY CAN BE UNLEARNED by a series of mental exercises, just like relearning to play the piano, when you hit the wrong notes over and over again.
We also also have an Assertiveness Training Program, which shows you various strategies of how to handle criticisms. You can also use that program to counter your own criticism towards yourself. This is like having internal debates with yourself and learning to be assertive and positive by means of mental exercises. By doing all this mentally in the privacy of your home and by yourself it is a ‘safe’ technique. You can imagine even worse criticism (called ‘put-downs’) and then learn how to handle that. by constant practice you become assertive AUTOMATICALLY.
Most people doing this program can change their self-image and become assertive in about eight week time (one chapter per week) plus mental practice. I see te self-image as being at the core of personality, so in the end there will be a change in personnality to the better.
Thus it may be worthwhile to hang in there with your job. Give yourself time to practice and if you start to feel confident use your boss as a practice target. But you must have prepared yourself (in imagination) for any possible debate with him.
I remember I used to have imaginary debates with my boss at the time I was not well. I allowed him to put me down, even worse than he did in real life, and by countering him with the skills learned in assertiveness training, we became good friends. Assertiveness training is not about aggression, but about conflict resolution. It is a skill that can be LEARNED!
If you do this program with a therapist, it may help you to speed up the relearning process. You will really enjoy the feeling of self-confidence. Your therapist can help you to decide when to confront your boss in real life!
Let us know how you go.
I would like you to understand that your psychological experiences has two aspects; 1) physiological and 2) psychological.
The first one is the most important, because the psychological aspects follows from the first.
The physical aspect can be described as you producing too much adrenaline, the panic hormone. This hormone responds to a sudden drop in your blood sugar level. Proof: drink something sweet when you have an attack and within minutes the attack disappears!
But this is also the wrong treatment for your panic attacks, because it can only aggravate the underlying causes of unstable blood sugar levels.
The sugar instability is caused by insulin resistance, that blocks the action of insulin in transporting glucose across cell membranes. Hence blood sugar level rise and the body pumps even more insulin into the blood stream, until it triggers a sudden hypoglycemic dip. This is seen by the brain as energy starvation, It will send messages to the adrenal glands to secrete adrenaline (converting stored sugar into glucose) feeding the brain again.
The non-drug treatment for this is the adoption of the hypoglycemic diet. This diet stops the production of excess adrenaline. Give it three months.
Once you are on the hypoglycemic diet (its effects will be apparent in about three months) you can start looking at the psychological aspects. Having hypoglycemia since probably your childhood means that you must have suffered form a low self-esteem, simply because you had no control over the internal physiological reactions. You might have thought for a long time: “this is all my fault’.
We have a self-help PSYCHOTHERAPY course at our web site, that starts off with a consideration of the self-image. I use concepts from Transactional Analysis (TA) to explain how the self-image is created by the critical PARENT EGO within ourselves. This is just a reservoir of habits of thought - learned responses - whenever you think of yourself. This ego does not respond to rational debate, because like a doggie it has been trained to behave (respond) in a certain way. You can retrain a doggie, but cannot debate with it!
The self-image can be seen as learned sentences like “I am stupid”, where the adjective is something negative. Because they have been learned, THEY CAN BE UNLEARNED by a series of mental exercises, just like relearning to play the piano, when you hit the wrong notes over and over again.
We also also have an Assertiveness Training Program, which shows you various strategies of how to handle criticisms. You can also use that program to counter your own criticism towards yourself. This is like having internal debates with yourself and learning to be assertive and positive by means of mental exercises. By doing all this mentally in the privacy of your home and by yourself it is a ‘safe’ technique. You can imagine even worse criticism (called ‘put-downs’) and then learn how to handle that. by constant practice you become assertive AUTOMATICALLY.
Most people doing this program can change their self-image and become assertive in about eight week time (one chapter per week) plus mental practice. I see te self-image as being at the core of personality, so in the end there will be a change in personnality to the better.
Thus it may be worthwhile to hang in there with your job. Give yourself time to practice and if you start to feel confident use your boss as a practice target. But you must have prepared yourself (in imagination) for any possible debate with him.
I remember I used to have imaginary debates with my boss at the time I was not well. I allowed him to put me down, even worse than he did in real life, and by countering him with the skills learned in assertiveness training, we became good friends. Assertiveness training is not about aggression, but about conflict resolution. It is a skill that can be LEARNED!
If you do this program with a therapist, it may help you to speed up the relearning process. You will really enjoy the feeling of self-confidence. Your therapist can help you to decide when to confront your boss in real life!
Let us know how you go.
- jurplesman
- Super Member
- Posts: 14140
- Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2004 5:38 am
- Location: Sydney, Australia
- Likes Received: 2
3 posts
• Page 1 of 1