1 year PAWS - It's been a year since I quit

#30

Postby 9monthquit » Sun Dec 19, 2021 2:43 am

@MJM I'm glad my posts help you out! Looks like you used for a little longer than me, but it is interesting that our timelines are similar.

I know I said I would post an update in 2022, but a lot has happened since my last post. I am currently still in the same wave, and it has actually gotten worse. Just the other night I (basically) had a panic attack where my thoughts were racing so fast I thought my head was going to explode. I had to focus to even catch my breath. Anyways, my anxiety has been through the roof. Last night I woke up twice with my heart pounding and couldn't go back to bed for 1h+ each time. I woke up extremely exhausted, and had a very deep depression + brain fog throughout the entire day. I felt so demotivated I couldn't even get out of bed, I was just laying there staring at nothing. I've also been having nightmares on several nights. This current wave I'm in is so bad it's actually giving me flashbacks to how I felt in my first few months of PAWS. Totally hopeless, struggling with sleep, forgetting about all the progress I've made.

It's honestly so painful, the last time I had a panic attack was ~4 months ago, and this one has caught me off guard. I'm really hoping this wave isn't an indicator of lost progress.
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#31

Postby MJM » Sun Dec 19, 2021 11:26 am

@9monthquit have you considered medication? I take Prozac now and it helps me A LOT. I also had a depression and anxiety diagnosis before I started smoking though…
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#32

Postby iHatePaws94 » Sun Dec 19, 2021 6:07 pm

Hey man sorry that you’re still struggling. I think it should be encouraging that you said you had a whole month almost completely PAWs free. That would indicate to me that you’re healing. Plus you said that it had been four months since you had a panic attack. That sounds like good progress to me. I’ve read a lot of peoples stories on here that even after a year clean they would still get waves of the same severity as early on in PAWs. Just because your waves are severe doesn’t mean your not healing. What’s you’re diet like by the way? If I have any more carbs than a couple fruit servings and a potato a day I get thrown into a wave. Have you tried a low carb high fat diet?
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#33

Postby 9monthquit » Sun Dec 19, 2021 7:36 pm

Thanks for your guys' replies. @MJM I did consider medication, but I truly believe it will hinder my recovery process. I was extremely healthy mentally before PAWS, so I don't believe taking medication is a good idea as it will just mask my PAWS and I'll have to deal with it later anyways. I've also seen other stories (NateTGreat?) where people tried medication and it didn't really help, and in some cases worsened PAWS. I'm going to wait it out till at least 30 months (1 more year) before I seriously consider medication.

@iHatePaws94 thank you for your encouraging words. My diet is pretty good overall, I get a good amount of veggies and lean protein. I haven't tried a low carb high fat diet, but I should indicate that I have had a consistent diet throughout my good and bad phases in PAWS. I was eating the same food when I had a month nearly PAWS free and the same food when I had heavy PAWS. I will try and experiment with my carb in take and see if it helps, thank you for the advice.
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#34

Postby MMJnomo » Sun Dec 19, 2021 11:02 pm

@itWasntWorthIt- I wanted to ask you how your brain fog is now. Are you doing any better?
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#35

Postby MMJnomo » Sun Feb 13, 2022 9:55 pm

Hey 9monthquit- wondering how you are doing and if you could post an update? Your posts have been very helpful. Hope you’re well.
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#36

Postby iHatePaws94 » Tue Feb 22, 2022 11:20 pm

@9monthquit- Hope things are going good and you’re getting the relief you deserve
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#37

Postby 9monthquit » Sun Feb 27, 2022 11:41 pm

@MMJnomo Sorry for my late response. I'm glad my posts have been helpful, update below!
@iHatePaws94 Thank you for your message, I certainly am experiencing some relief.


Progress update

I've been marijuana free for 20 months this month. It's been over 2 months since my last update, and things have been looking much better. In my last post, I was in a pretty heavy wave. Since then, I came out of that wave, and I will be honest, I don't even remember much of how I felt. There were no "extreme" waves or PAWS symptoms that occurred. Nothing worth remembering. All I can say is I've had on and off anxiety / depression / brain fog. But the truth is, I've started having more good days than bad days. And even on bad days, symptoms are quite manageable, and many times only last for part of the day. I recently thought I'd entered a wave because I was having a bad day, but the following day, I felt normal. It's almost like I don't even have continuous PAWS waves anymore. There are instances where I feel incredibly normal, so normal and in the moment that I forget I ever had PAWS. I get completely consumed by whatever I'm working on. It's like feeling how I did before I started consuming marijuana.

But the periods I do witness PAWS symptoms, they can still be intense as they once were. I just feel it's easier to come out of them, and to push forward. I'm feeling a lot more hopeful about the future, I truly believe at this rate I will be feeling close to healed by the end of the year (30 month mark.) I'm going to keep an eye and continuously post progress updates, because it not only helps me feel better, but I know it really helps some of you out there too. I hope you all are doing better and seeing progress in your own journeys.
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#38

Postby MMJnomo » Tue Mar 01, 2022 2:04 am

What a great update post! Thank you for taking the time to update us. It’s so great that you’re seeing so much improvement, and it’s great that you are able to get through the rough days with a different perspective. Very inspiring for so many of us. I’m 13 months along now and struggling mightily again after a few really good months, so posts like yours are very important and helpful to me. Please continue to update. All the best to you.
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#39

Postby 9monthquit » Tue Mar 08, 2022 3:34 pm

I'm glad my posts are helping. I will continue to update here: https://forum.weedpaws.net/viewtopic.php?t=2

Uncommonforum is shutting down, so feel free to reach out on the link I posted.
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