im up all hours of the night furious. heres the basic: my girlfriend and i been going out for 4 years, she cheated on me once but i took her back. im basically a loser with absolutely no friends (other than her) and no confidence. after she cheated on me, nearly everything she does pisses me off. i feel like i have to ask her everyday who she talked to, what they talked about, and then i just figured she'd lie about it if she was flirting/cheating. she always says it's just normal male/female chat everyone experiences (EXCEPT ME!!!!!!!!)....but then i look in her old year books and find signatures by guys saying things like " i wanna do you so hardcore" and "remember when we underlined all those sexual jokes in a book" and she always pulls out some explaination like "i didn't even give my yearbook to that guy" or "he was the one underlining all the jokes"...
she had a class movie she had to go see for a grade recently and i asked her if i could go with her, and of course she immediatley said it was impossible. after a lot of arguing she finally told me she would be uncomfortable with me being there because it would allow other people to get too much info on HER life...but what i really think is she doesn't want me there because she doesn't want ME knowing too much about her school life.
i dont' know if im jealous that she has tons of friends to chit chat with and i have no one, or if i just can't bring myself to trust her, but it's really been digging into me and i don't know what else to do. im terrible at making friends (and i mean TERRIBLE...ive tried so hard since ive been in college and i haven't 1 friend), and i feel like if i lose her...im going to lose my desire to be alive
but i also feel like all this arguing and me getting mad is going to definently lead to a break up, which makes me mad at myself for even getting mad. i just want things to be good with her like they used to..but i just don't know if i can
thanks for listening
god, help me
4 posts
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by crazypete » Thu Oct 06, 2005 4:44 am
will someone please give me some advice? I know you're probably thinking the whole problem is me asking so much about who she talked to and all....and i really don't want to be like that!! it's like my feelings get mad before my brain does, and that somehow gets to me thinking that she's dishonest about things still...and that she wouldn't tell me if she did something anyway.
i also think it might help if she could better explain herself...on how she feels, why she does things, what she thinks. they're always simple little 1 word answers and if i ask her to explain she just says "i don't know"...
i feel like the only solution is to either dump her and live my cruddy life alone but less stressful.....or to just not worry about her cheating and believe it when she says she's crazy about me/wants to marry and grow old with me...which ive tried time and time again but the same problems come back.
i know im so dramaqueen right now...but i REALLY need some resolution to this
has anyone ever been through anything like this?
i also think it might help if she could better explain herself...on how she feels, why she does things, what she thinks. they're always simple little 1 word answers and if i ask her to explain she just says "i don't know"...
i feel like the only solution is to either dump her and live my cruddy life alone but less stressful.....or to just not worry about her cheating and believe it when she says she's crazy about me/wants to marry and grow old with me...which ive tried time and time again but the same problems come back.
i know im so dramaqueen right now...but i REALLY need some resolution to this
has anyone ever been through anything like this?
by minimii » Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:44 pm
hey it seems like your a lil on the jealous side, (but) i see where your coming from.it seems as though she is hiding from you or she is annoyed with you.have you considered some time apart.see im a girl and i like to date but for some reason my relationships never last, and i think one reason that is, is because i get afraid like what if i get too serious with this person and i never date again or never get to know what its like to kiss another person, it gets you a lil afraid.for some people its hard to come out and say "i dont want to be with you anymore" especially when you've been together for four years.what grade is she in? also. you've got to let her be a girl let her talk to her friends and not have to worry about you asking her all the time who she talked to cuz that will push her away, i bet she loves you and tells you that she wants to spend her life with your,only to reasure you that she does love you but when she seems irritated it means she needs space.yeah i like it when my boyfriend gives me all his time and hold me and stuff but when i see him doing his own thing like out doing something it makes me want him more, i think that if she sees you focusing on school and work and everyonce in a while kinda busy with something she want you more than ever.well thats all i have for now.later
by Makessenseright » Thu Oct 27, 2005 10:19 pm
Pete,
You have to try and relax, I can sense your frustration and anger just by what you've posted. There is nothing that turns a person off more than a demanding, clinging friend. You have to live your own life, if she wants to come along she can, but if she doesn't want to she won't anyway. The important thing is that you live your life, either way. Develop a vision for your life, you want to graduate with a 3.5 GPA, or whatever, then go for that, it could very well be that a girlfriend that takes up a lot of your time and enery is hindering you living your life.
This could also help you make friends, don't try to be friends with people, be yourself and the friends you want will naturally appear. I mean that people with certain interests are atracted to people with similar interests and Everybody likes someone who has basic self assurance. Remember that who you are and what your worth doesn't depend on what other people think of you, if you know that you have something that nobody can take away.
Hope it helps,
SVD
You have to try and relax, I can sense your frustration and anger just by what you've posted. There is nothing that turns a person off more than a demanding, clinging friend. You have to live your own life, if she wants to come along she can, but if she doesn't want to she won't anyway. The important thing is that you live your life, either way. Develop a vision for your life, you want to graduate with a 3.5 GPA, or whatever, then go for that, it could very well be that a girlfriend that takes up a lot of your time and enery is hindering you living your life.
This could also help you make friends, don't try to be friends with people, be yourself and the friends you want will naturally appear. I mean that people with certain interests are atracted to people with similar interests and Everybody likes someone who has basic self assurance. Remember that who you are and what your worth doesn't depend on what other people think of you, if you know that you have something that nobody can take away.
Hope it helps,
SVD
- Makessenseright
- Junior Member
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4 posts
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