I hate everybody, but I don't want to

If you don't like people in general, when in contact with you they will sense it, it's not something you can hide. And, when people sense they are being disliked, why would they want to hang around somebody who doesn't like them? Try and give people more credit, focus on their good qualities instead of the bad ones. It's all about how you look at people. Change your perspective.

I'm assuming you had a rough childhood, from what you said, you think negatively when people do positive things, then, I can only assume, your parents or care taker did not want to hear what have to say when you were young and that's what's caused you to think this way about people.

However that could be wrong and what your thinking is actually what's happening. There are people who care more about themself, but most of the time that is because that's what they were taught growing up and it stuck with them. There are people out there that will gently push you tell them about your day instead of telling you about theirs, you just have to find them. When people seem to only want to tell you about their day and don't care about yours, their habitually looking for praise or comfort.

Or it could have been exactly what happened and your still only seeing what is actually there. (Both hypothesis together)

You should keep this in mind, anyone who has no pain in their heart will speak no words about themself. There are people who still are in pain who try to show they care, those people will burn up if not given the support their looking for, but they are the most likely to get support.

There is nothing wrong with how you view the people you have met so far, only one seems to have made an effort to connect with you, so let the rest go and find people who want to get to know you, who you can be your self around and they won't poke fun at you.

Listen not to extravegent speech and speak no wisdom to those who will not listen. If someone comes to a judge and can not speak, it is the judge who does the wrong. Question not your own self, question only what's around you.

Wisdom is always available to those who seek it.

Have a good day!

I don't have any insightful advice; I just want to let you know that I can totally relate to what you are feeling.

I was alone most of my life but i have a very nice girlfriend recently

There are a lot of people I see at my school who would act that way too, but there are also a lot of people who would never act that way who I'm glad to call my friends. If you can't spot those types of people in a crowd, I recommend talking to everyone and finding who your real friends are out of that.

I am so glad I talked about it. I got some relief that I am not as alone as I thought. You are right. I will have to change my perspective.
And also you are right about my rough childhood. My parents just watched while bad stuff happened to me and my siblings. They knew about school bullying, and didn't do anything about it.
And I just figured out why I think that people communicate only with agenda. When I was a teen and went to school, people were friendly to me only when they needed me to do their homework, or help them with something. I guess that's why I see people this way even today, many years later.

I would really, really like to like people and appreciate them for who they are, but I just don't know where to start. Maybe if I change my opinion about them somehow, then things will change for me too.
Do you have any tips?

Do you often televisionally expand your perspective to include personality-types living abroad?

If not, then you should, as this expansion of perspective invariably decompresses the built-up tension of your negative belief-system in order for you to see reality more clearly again.

If yes, then ask your self if all people around the world are like the one you base your negatively tainted worldview on.
Ask your self if your prejudice---the origins of which i comprehend nonetheless--- is much comparable to a man who's been rejected by two women in his adolescence and now boldly claims that all women are relentless, heart-crushing creatures.

Introspectah wrote:

I would really, really like to like people and appreciate them for who they are, but I just don't know where to start. Maybe if I change my opinion about them somehow, then things will change for me too.
Do you have any tips?

Do you often televisionally expand your perspective to include personality-types living abroad?

If not, then you should, as this expansion of perspective invariably decompresses the built-up tension of your negative belief-system in order for you to see reality more clearly again.

If yes, then ask your self if all people around the world are like the one you base your negatively tainted worldview on.
Ask your self if your prejudice---the origins of which i comprehend nonetheless--- is much comparable to a man who's been rejected by two women in his adolescence and now boldly claims that all women are relentless, heart-crushing creatures.

I don't communicate with people outside my country. I have had some interactions abroad, and none of them were negative indeed. Maybe I should expand my relationships to get a "reset".
Thank you all for your thoughts, I appreciate it.

If you would like more friends, then be more friendly, this always starts with your next thought, you can change your self talk and change your experience of the world

This video can help you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdTaJgD ... YwdCN2DLoN

I guess what I'm trying to say is, learn to see what people's intentions are, whether they actually only want to talk about them self, or if that's not the case. Its possible you have surrounded your self with not the best kinds of people. Our perspectives are based on what we know, so your perspective is based on who you know, so get to know more people.

You should trust what your body tells you, I always have and it hasn't lied to me once. If you feel someone only wants to talk about them self then maybe they do, find someone who doesn't give you that feeling.

You can tell your self you feel something all the time but if you don't feel it, you won't feel it. If your open to learning, you'll find this on your own too.

Have a good day!

You may have to find new friends.

Dear Notasusual: I too generally dislike folks. There is no law that says you HAVE to like folks. Some folks are not worthy of your friendship. Others are. You need to find the difference and understand it so that you can determine which people you want to be around and those people will in turn want to be around you. As for the others, just be polite. A hello or good morning never hurt anyone. If someone asks you a quesiton, answer it but you dont have to go into detail.

Obviously you are capable of liking folks - you have a S.O. What gets me through is the constant reminder "treat others as you would like to be treated". I can be polite but it doesnt mean that i want to be BFF's.

The only other thing is to become a shut in and i dont think you are looking to do that. Also, dogs are great for helping people. Maybe you should look into adopting a dog. Just by doing every day activities with him/her you will be forced to interact with folks, but the attention will not be centered on you it'll be centered on your pup.

Remember not to judge others - you dont know what their lives are like. Perhaps those who only talk of themselves have a home life where they dont exist and this is the only time they get to be themselves. We all have a selfish side. It just comes in different ways. I like to buy shoes. I have more shoes than i have places to wear them or keep them, lol, but that is my guilty pleasure.

You could also try doing things that are centered on you. Yoga is great. Its good exercise and it teaches you to focus on you - no one else. Also meditation can help you get rid of those negative thoughts and focus on the positives. Its difficult, but totally rewarding when you can do it.

First I would encourage you to let go of your past. It sounds like you are still holding on to the negative things that happened. I sometimes encourage my clients to rewind and "make up" their own movie, instead of the one they are playing back. Become the Hero, the favorite actor, and add all the emotions you can to being strong and not the victim. When you find your strength there, keep applying this to every situations that comes to mind and make up your own story.

Then I would ask you "What do you want others to see in you"? If you don't know, they won't either, because you won't BE that person. Here is an example: I want people to see hope, strength, a listening ear etc. So every time I meet someone, those automatically kick in.

I hope this helps move you forward and you begin to see that your life can be better, you simply must believe it can be AND take actions to make it so