Hi Karen- I've been thinking about you. You'd mentioned last week that you were having a hard time. You really do seem so strong and positive in your posts. I reckon you've learned to put on a "brave face" living with an ED. I'm sorry this world is like that- it forces good people who are suffering to hide it all away. That's really heartbreaking to me.
The past several days have been pretty rocky for me, too. I think the meds are waning already. Sometimes I wonder if I just get a placebo effect when I go a new med- which picks me up a bit and then reality sinks back in and down I go. I do think the Prozac exacerbated the mood swings and the suicidality- but I don't want to change it b/c it's helped EMMENSELY with the binge urges. I haven't had a binge since- when?- early last week? I have been purging still, though. Didn't seem to do much for that part. I hate doing it- but I obsess over it and then feel so much better after I purge.
I'm calling today to reschedule my appt with my p-doc. Supposedly there are openings for Friday. I also don't have my regular appt. with my therapist this week b/c she's going out of town for a seminar. I don't know that that's a bad thing though b/c I often feel so much worse after I've seen her! I do have DBT class tomorrow night. It's a good thing. But I'm also sort of dreading it b/c I've neglected my DBT skills this past week. Whenever I try, it does nothing for me- and makes me feel even more like a flop. I haven't done my DBT diary card for most of the days this week- which is a no-no. And I'd volunteered to do one of the mindfulness exercises (we do two every class), which I regret. Listen to me- god I'm such a whiner, lately! I'm getting on my OWN nerves!
I hope today is better for you. It's no problem if you don't feel like posting on my thread. I totally understand- don't give it another thought. Just want to give you a gentle reminder that support goes both ways. If you need anything, a kind word or to share experiences, this is a good place to reach out. Even for a super-woman moderator. You're allowed to have bad days, too. Thinking of you.