Can't post so will have to quote entire OP
I just can't find enjoyment these days. I've always been sort of nostalgic, but in the past 2 years or so, I've just fallen in love with the past. to think about my past life comforts me, but at the same time makes me very sad that I can't have them back. the times I wish I had back the most are from 2nd grade to the end of high school. I'm 25 now, but I was just so happy back then. I had great parents, living middle class, and it was just great.
I go back to places I used to have good times at, and I just sit there and think back on good times. I do this as a means to pass the time during the day sometimes. places are of real significance to me, and they impact me greatly to where I feel depressed. I say to myself. right here. right here is where some great times happened, and now they are gone. commonly I will go to the mall, in the food court. there is an arcade there. I just go in the arcade and stare at the games, imagining that it was many years ago, and i was there with my friends, sometimes I get teary eyed because its just so impacting to me in my head.
the only thing that keeps me busy and content is my daily workout routines which i have made very intense. bruce lee is my inspiration to keep going. im more fit, healthy, and I'm more intelligent than I ever was, yet im still very unhappy. im more prone to anger than I ever have been as well. and also its funny because I'm a very heterosexual person, yet I just wish I could go back to when I wasn't because my friends were so much cooler back then, when we didn't have girls on the mind.
im convinced that the best times are behind me. i'd like to believe otherwise, but I can't seem to. the only ideas I have are moving to a completely different city, and start over. I can't seem to make anything good happen in the city i live in, where all the good times happened. i can't relate to people anymore. sometimes I just want to leave this city and never come back, because i feel ive been forsaken here. its like im looking at skeletons and a ghost town of a place that used to be really great.
any ideas on what to do
Unfortunately the topic is locked so I can't post in it.
I am 28 years old.
I have recently started to dabble in dating.
I was very shy as a teenager and often giggled at by girls for reasons to this day I don't really understand.
I went to a special needs boys boarding school and came out in 2006.
So needless to say I tended to keep my interactions with girls short and sweet to reduce the possibility of embarrassing myself and I felt like there was always time for me to get to know some.
I always felt like I would have access to girls 18+.
But on a popular dating website (Plenty of Fish) due to my age it won't let me search for girls under 22. And yes I know I could put a false age, etc, but that's not my point.
I hate the feeling of being left outta the age group and curse myself for not trying online dating back in 2006-2012, when I was in that youth age group.
It feels like my whole youth has passed me by, this online dating thing just reinforces that feeling.
I didn't have sex until I was 25 (2015) and that was only with a prostitute. Since then I try to see one a few times per year.
I've actually found some old pics on a memory card and set up a profile on POF saying I am 18 and using those old pics from when I was 18
It's just an experiment to see if any girls would have talked to me or not. I'm not actually going to meet women on a false pretense.
But yeah, life feels like it has passed me by. The enormity of what I have missed out on has dawned on me, realising that I am 10 years older than an 18 year old girl and now I will probably never get to sample the delights of ones body
