Up in Smoke

Glad you decided to join in. Reading these posts are helpful, but putting yourself out there and asking for some advice or help is one of the first steps to quitting. I'm 50,female,smoked for 29 yrs.,pot free for 19 months. Do not be afraid to quit and try. The worse case scenario you fail and try again. Been there done that many times. I too resisted the thought that pot was addicting, I thought I could quit anytime I really wanted to. But now I know I am addicted to marijuana. I could never smoke it again. One joint and I will be back to daily 24/7 smoking. The first few weeks are tuff with physical withdrawls, the psychological withdrawls,there is no clear answer. My husband when he quit 5 yrs.,ago had little problems. Me really bad,but I got through it,and the end results are sooo worth it, and I'm stronger then the pot. The answer to quitting is within yourself. Like quitting any addiction, you really have to want to quit. There are so many things I can say, and offer some help,so if you want to post again with some of your concerns and I will try to give you some advice,encouragement, and maybe even some answers. Take care,talk to you later I hope.

I'm not sure which of these might appeal to you, but here are a few brainstorm ideas for what to do instead of smoking pot first thing in the morning:

go for breakfast at your fave breakfast spot

crank up your favorite tune to get yourself started

make, or go out for, your favorite morning drink (Mocha, smoothie, milkshake?)

take a walk and see the sunrise

have your favorite DVD cued up to the funniest part, and watch 5 minutes of it to start your day with a laugh

go to the local Y for morning workout, yoga, tai chi (if you're into that)

Just some suggestions. Figure out what will work for you.

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WAKING LIFE WROTE:

go for breakfast at your fave breakfast spot

crank up your favorite tune to get yourself started

make, or go out for, your favorite morning drink (Mocha, smoothie, milkshake?)

take a walk and see the sunrise

have your favorite DVD cued up to the funniest part, and watch 5 minutes of it to start your day with a laugh

go to the local Y for morning workout, yoga, tai chi (if you're into that)

Just some suggestions. Figure out what will work for you.
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Unfortunately, on this occasion, I disagree with 'waking life', simply because I know from my own experience (and others too) that the above suggestions will seem completely pointless and empty without herb (initially) because of the heavy usage of the drug. It will take a long time for activities, like the ones suggested above, to have any real meaning or significance on their own without the old weed.

In my opinion J Dubya, I would reach deep inside and realise that you smoke because you NEED it, you need it to feel good and so that things are fun. Weed completely changes your values about your environment, people and activities and once addicted, everything seems boring, empty and pointless without it. There is no way (for at least a couple of months after quitting) that anything will be remotely as fun and enjoyable as when you're high because it simply consumes us and changes our perception on enjoyment.

From my own personal experience (I'm 25 years of age and have been sober for 9 months now), it took a long while to adjust to life without 'my friend' as it were, because everything revolved around it. I am a musician and associated pot with musical creativity, which is absolute nonsense anyway because the music that I create whilst sober is much more complete, thorough and professional.

My advice to you would be to decide whether you REALLY want to quit, because if you don't actually (in your heart of hearts) want to quit, it is pointless. So, let's assume that you do. I found that reading about cannabis' negative effects on people really helped, that it is actually (afterall) a harmful illegal drug that can contribute to making a person mentally ill and that it takes every bit of soul away from a person (eventually). Keep posting and reading on forums such as these and keep you mind active, everytime you get that little devil on your shoulder saying "a joint would be amazing right now", just show your strength and ignore it and prove to yourself that you are stronger than a dried PLANT.

Trust me, once you get past the initial "I could kill for a spliff", you will feel very proud that you don't need it anymore. You will regain the lost self-respect (eventually) and people will begin to respect you more. Some people don't believe in my "no drugs whatsoever (including alcohol and tobacco) philosophy" because I think to some it's too drastic, but I've never in my entire adult life felt so happy. I have an infinite amount of energy compared to the hedonistic days, people resepct me more, I want to actually do things rather than laze about on the couch, and slowly but surely, my confidence, vibrance and enthusiasm for life is returning.

J Dubya, you will never ever find any happiness getting high, and deep down you know this... Try and quit as soon as possible because I'm sure it's not where you want to be at 41 years of age.

Take care and good luck.

lp_ultra, very well said. I agree with you 100%. It's sad but true, nothing seemed fun or worth while when I first quit. When I read your words it gave me chills, if I could have express myself those first few months, I would have typed the same things. I actually said those words to my husband and he understood,and yet he didn't. Because when he quit, I didn't notice any changes in him. Oh he was restless when we went to bed, couldn't sleep well. He also was a little grumpy, but honest to God it was nothing for him. Within a month or so he was fine. I felt just like you for several months. It was so awful I went to our family doctor for help ( I won't bore anyone with details,unless you ask ). So with that in mind J Dubya, who knows how the physical and psychological withdrawls will be for you. You won't know until you try. I agree with lp_ultra, try and quit as soon as possible, you don't want to keep living like you are. On a personal note lp_ultra you must be an old soul, and I mean that as a big compliment You are half my age, how did you get so wise at the tender age of 25?? Keep up the good work you are doing on this forum,we all need to help each other,especially when we know and understand the anguish they are going through. Take care.

Hi Flowerchild,

Thank you very much for your kind words. It's nice when people say that I am wise. I have had a lot of soul searching to do in the past few years. In the year of 2000, after my drugs honeymoon had pretty much finished, I had a massive mental breakdown because my brain simply could not handle all of the different chemicals that I was pumping into it. Consequently, I should have ended up in Mental Institution because I completely lost connection with reality but I fought and fought and would not give in. I refused to lose my mind totally, there was something inside me, a sixth sense if you will that held onto what bit of reality I had left. So, I (since 2000) haven't really done any hard drugs because they just make me feel weak and dirty because of the wisdom that I gained through this profoundly negative experience.

Unfortunately, throughout these past 7 years, I have abused Cannabis heavily. In 2004, I had a Wine (Chardonnay) and Cannabis habit. Every single day for at least a year I would buy a bottle of Wine and smoke maybe 5 spliffs on an evening.

So, here I am right now, I have learned so much about myself, life and people in those 7 years and probably have a mind/soul too old for my body, haha. Right now, I am completely drug free (no illegal drugs, no medication, no alcohol, no tobacco) and I feel superb! I feel well adjusted, wise, focused and enthusiastic. I believe that what happened to me was a massive favour from the divine presence because I don't think I will ever touch another drug again, legal or illegal. Not even paracetamol (UK) Acetaminophen (US). Today I am a better person than I ever would be if I hadn't gone through what I have and my character is so strong now.

Once again, thanks for the nice post. I hope to speak with you soon about the wonderful world of sobriety!!!

lp_ultra, you are so very welcome for the kind words, I truely am amazed. You really could have killed yourself or your mind permanently. But your right ( a divine presence ) God had his reasons and you are fulfilling them now, helping others. God Bless you. You are an old soul and that is a blessing. My oldest son is your age and although he is a fine son and a wonderful man, I don't think he has your level of maturity. Thank you for the opportunity to speak to you personally and or privately,but whatever you want to know, I have no problem speaking about it on this forum. As far as I'm concerned my life is an open book for all here to learn and maybe get some helpful info to get them through their rough days of withdrawls!! My friend Clogged Synapseses (from our former site) found this forum and I will always be grateful he took the time to do so. Not only would our messages get deleted, but we would have to put up with literally idiots who would type in ludicrous comments and reasons to keep on toking. It is so wonderful to be at a forum that is only being helpful to others, and sharing life experiences. Take care my friend, hope we talk again soon

Yeah no problem Flowerchild, it will be good to converse about how you got into it and what other drugs you took etc.

JDubya, Flower, waking, lp;
Thank you, this is such a help to come here and seek the help I will continue to need. I pray I can be of help to someone someday too.
Today started rough, but turned out so very wonderful without POT. I can't believe it, I suspect tommorow will start rough...but it could end like today.
JD, I hope you can have one day smoke free. That's all I hope for you right now, and I will rejoice when you post you indeed did.

Wow, wow. It is such an inspiration to read your stories and see the battles that you have triumphed over. JD, the truth is that the choice is yours to make like these others have made. It wont be easy. But it will be worth it. Don't you want to experience life where you are proud of yourself every day rather than hating yourself for giving in. Choose. Wake up in the morning and just say to yourself I will not smoke now. And keep saying that for the rest of the day. Dont expect to feel great. Dont expect to enjoy. But know that you are choosing the best thing for you. I hope this helps.