Is it the depression talking or should we take a break?

I'm new here and I'm trying to find some help on an issue I am having with myself about my relationship. I am currently in between medication for PTSD, Mild Depressive Disorder, OCD (no big compulsions though, more like obsessive thoughts) and Suicidal Ideation/Past attempts. The reason for all these acronyms, to make it short, I've been going through severe trauma since the age of 6, sexual abuse mainly and about two years ago when I was serving in the Peace Corps I went through an attempted kidnapping and molestation, mugged with a knife, and raped all in my last 6 months of service.

Now, after two years I am in a relationship with an amazing guy who can empathize with some of my trauma and is incredibly patient with me. He has been there through my most depressive times and has got me out of cutting myself.

So here I have this wonderful guy, and I feel guilty as hell for putting him through this. I feel like he could do better but he feels that I am pushing him away because of my depression and this isn't the moment I should be doing that. Rather I should let him help me because he is technically all I have and the only one who can truly help me right now, aside from my therapist and psychiatrist.

I tell him I want to take a break.....not a relationship break per se, but rather take some time away so that I can get better and go through this transition between Luvox and Abilify by myself....... because the guilt, pain, and emotions are too much when I think of what I'm doing to him. Maybe not necessarily to him, but rather allowing him to see me this way.

Is it wrong to take that time away? Is he right about allowing him to be there and just tough it out with him?

I don't know what to do........ I hate how I feel about this, but at the same time I don't want him to feel that I am taking a break because eventually it means I'll break up with him. I want us to agree......but we can't seem to.