I need someone to point me in the right direction.

Hi !

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety about two months ago.

I am going through a very hard time in my life. My sister had an operation to remove a cyst from her brain, unfortunately the operation was unsuccessful, my sister lost her job and is dependent on me. Additionally, I take care of my mother who is currently in the hospital fighting for her life.

Although I have a job, the loans I took out to pay for my sister's and mother's treatment have meant that I have to work after hours, often for 22 hours a day, or give up sleep.

Right after seeing a psychologist I attempted suicide, it wasn't planned in any way, I just did it, but I reacted right away and called 911. And it was a big mistake, I couldn't afford to leave my family.

Worsening financial problems have led to me having to choose between buying food for myself and putting that money away in case my family needs it, which means I eat out of trash cans when everyone in my apartment building goes to bed. Unfortunately I am not able to live with my family because I simply cannot afford it, I have to regularly visit my sister and mother to buy food, clean the house etc,.

As an attempt to "fix" my family's financial state, I have set up a crowdfunding campaign. I was hoping it would be the golden mean and given how many users there are on various online forums someone would help me spread the word, but unfortunately it didn't work out, after a week I only had a few views, I was blocked on many online forums that were supposed to "help" those in need.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not an ungrateful child who doesn't understand that other people also have problems and can't/won't help me because they simply don't know me or don't have the means to do so.

I have tried everything from food banks to state programs, unfortunately I have been denied help.

I'm at a dead end and don't know what I can do, I don't have much time before the mistakes I've made in the past catch up with me and I won't have the money to provide for my family that I've been taking care of for 11 years, I need to help them in some way and get out of debt. I would love to do it myself, but I'm afraid I can't do it. I feel depressed, can't concentrate, and have trouble with the smallest tasks. I don't want my life and my family's lives to end this way, I want to fight for their future but I don't know how I can do that or where I can ask for help.