My Third Letter To My Heartbreaker

I write this to you here because you cannot see it, as you couldn't see the past two letters I wrote in the past 72 hours since you left my life forever. Still, I do not talk to you, I will not contact you because you asked me not to, and I won't look at your pictures.

I didn't care about your flaws, my beautiful baby girl. I would've ignored them...I did ignore them even when no one else did because I saw the best in you. We didn't know each other long, and when I saw your ugly side and you saw mine...things fell apart. I wish I'd accepted you rather than getting angry, and I wish you'd accepted me as well with all my flaws, all my faults.

I wish I could change the past few days and do things over because I miss you so much, my beautiful, brilliant baby girl. I fell in n love with you within the short time we knew each other, and I fell hard. Even now, when all hope is lost, I fantasize about the adventures we could've had together...you meeting my family, me meeting yours.. traveling to new places, partying, enjoying new experiences.

I write this also not as a plea for forgiveness, but as a promise--being that this is anonymous and you'll never read this--that while I'll never forget you, I will never, ever contact you...for your well being and mine. I will never stalk you, even if I'll never forget you. You will remain in my memories as a specter of failure which looks about me and constantly reminds me of promise which will forever remain unfulfilled...because of me. It doesn't even matter if I do better than you someday, my sweet baby girl, because I will never forget the beauty of your being.

You will never read this, and despite our mistakes, I still find myself hoping...praying even that you reach out to me again and find it in your heart to give us another chance...but I know that day will never come. Forgive me, my beautiful baby girl. Live your best life...and I think I'm certain, as your aforementioned specter whispers into my ear throughout the day, I will place into my palms, nearly cry, and recover from my great sorrow only to write you another letter, pleading for you to come back into my world