by Livetowin » Fri Feb 11, 2022 6:24 pm
You're placing yourself in a really bad spot even if every single intention comes to pass. First, this is a person who has a crap load of emotional baggage from this relationship. She's already given you the preview by saying its all his fault and he's insane. Right now, you're riding on the wings of the White Knight, offering your time and attention to someone who essentially describes her predicament with all the fire works to keep you at her side.
Now lets all pretend like there is nothing here but best of intentions. Lets take your conviction and play this to the outcome you and her are talking about. First, who pays for the sins of her ex? You do. Who becomes the new villain in the family once this relationship is made public? You do. And guess who gets dropped if the golden gates of Asgard do not deliver the instant happiness she is expecting with this immediate transition into your world? You get dropped.
What neither you nor her are understanding is the actual cost to make this consummation happen. By her estimation (and yours), she's already broken in this relationship. But mark my words, her identity resides in that relationship as well, because that's where that family was built and where her financial security resides. Now lets fast forward to five years later. Lets just remove the husband from the scene. Lets say he's gone. He split never to be seen from again. Who do you have standing in front of you now? A train wreck of broken goods looking for your first moment of frustration or impatience with her. And then... BOOM! Your actions instantly remind her of her ex-husband. She then says with intense bitterness, " I never knew you had this side to you!" Am I making a little bit of sense for you?
Look at the mechanics of your bond. She is coming to you to dump all of her angst and you willingly accept. The two of you are not building something from a meaningful platform. Its all built on her wanting to get away from something and you serve as that bridge to a different life. Its not built on a day to day relationship of two people being together where both of you can see one another on good AND bad days. She's seeking emotional release and all the instant and unrealistic expectations that come with it. You might be the guy that was there for her in crisis. But if you think she won't still see the crisis after that guy is gone, you're sadly mistaken. The mind, body, and soul must heal when a person is making a big change from something they've known the majority of their life. And the flipside for you is you're going to want some kind of payoff for the time spent showing your loyalty to her, which is going to test your expectation as well.
Think long and hard about continuing with this. I can guarantee you it is NOT as black and white as you or her think it is. And the future for both of you is not remotely as rosy as your emotions are leading either of you to believe. There's going to be a moment when reality comes to collect its check, and that's a high price to pay for you to remain on this ill fated ride. I truly wish you well, but you're headed for a bad ending, even under the best of circumstances.
