in the dark room chronicles

desperate788 wrote:
that was nice..thx

I'm not sure if you mean those emoticons.

Let me know.

No no..I mean moving dancing. There isn't an emoticon for that at board I use them

desperate788 wrote:No no..I mean moving dancing. There isn't an emoticon for that at board I use them

Thanks.

So I left the room went out..did I do the right thing?

DOING is good, like Richard says. Nothing can happen while you're alone in your room, therefore going out was a good thing.

I don't believe your brain chemistry is so messed up. You hold a job. You can think, and reason. You need to stop making excuses for not acting on good suggestions.

While we're thinking of things to DO, add this to your list:

Talk to people in real life. Talk to people in the coffee shop, smile and say hello to strangers on the street, talk to people you meet in the course of your work. Pay compliments where you can. Be the sort of person you'd like to have as a friend.

Seems to me your anxiety has revved up since you found out your father was so ill. Talk to your mother and your sister about that. Tell them what you're feeling, not all the bad memories you have of him. Support them in their feelings and let them support you in yours.

I hold a job but ask me how hard it is. Terrible. Thinking thing is tricky I can't understand. Sometimes I think I can't even walk. Talking to strangers has always been a struggle for me. Trying to do that with low self confidence may make things worse. I have suspicion about my father's illness that increased when you said my anxiety increased.

I have lost enthusiasm for life..don't want anything. Just being safe.

My father and sister are disgusting lowest people all my suffering is because of them I would be in much better position if they weren't my family. I would have a much better job. If I resign god knows what will happen to me. Consequences are terrible.

One thing is certain..All my suffering is because of them.

desperate788 wrote:I hold a job but ask me how hard it is.

Okay, I'll bite. How hard is it? Is it hard for everyone who works there, or just hard for you?

Talking to strangers has always been a struggle for me.

I can tell you why that is. You're so caught up in churning over in your mind how terrible your life is* that you barely notice other people. To talk to other people, you need to be interested in them. After you've been introduced, or you've introduced yourself, you ask what work they do, what interests they have, what they do to relax... And all these questions lead to other questions. This is how you decide who you want to be friends with, whose company you like.

I have suspicion about my father's illness that increased when you said my anxiety increased.

Nay brother, you're not going to pin that one on me! You've been more unhappy since you found out. But here's the thing: no one on the board really knows you, much less your family. We don't know what happened back there. The people to talk to are other family members.

* I was lost for words when I saw you'd written you were the unluckiest person in history. Can you possibly be unaware that two-thirds of the world's population don't eat every day, and that of those people, half of them are actually starving?

For far too long your gaze has been inwards, and when you look inwards all you see is misery. You are not the only person suffering. Far from it. Look around you for who else is unhappy, and see if there's anything you can do to help. But also look for people who seem to be managing their lives better than you do, because you can learn from them.

There are many people who are more unfortunate than me I accept but my life is so bad because of family members that's unusual family helps normally but these disgusting people can't stand me having a simple happy moment. That's the unluckiest part family at worst neutral not trying to harm you.

I like you so much hope I don't bore people with my endless chatter and complaints. Please excuse me.

Plenty of people have rotten families. Really.

If you say so..But I won't believe you if you say there are many people who have father's that wants to kill their sons.

If your father had wanted to kill you, he would have done so. He started out much bigger than you.