i was shocked

Hey,

Well, anger comes from a fear of helplessness because it creates a false illusion of control. Knowing that, its easy to see why he would say that he would 'rape' them because isn't that the most dominating show of control around?? What he is really saying is that he feels helpless in that situation and can't think of any other way of dealing with the problem than through physical force. What the guy needs is anger management sessions--that of course is the best advice I can give.

Saying such shocking things to you, whether or not he actually meant it, is designed to make him feel powerful by being so horrific and violent. One tactic might be to probe underneath those statements by asking thought-provoking questions designed to identify the hidden interests. Ask, "Why would you say something like that?" or "How would that help the situation?"

Well obviously if someone abused their kids that would be horrible. We all know that sometimes people say thnigs that they dont mean, like a kid saying "I HATE YOU!" because of him not being the center of attention or having a toy taken away for punishment.

He was probably exaggerating and this is NORMAL. I've done this before. I'm sure everyone has. This was just an outbreak of his anger, which as you said, is being worked on by counseling.

I think this is a very minor problem that you shouldn't ponder over for long times to come.

Is he seeking help about it?

Remember that it is a problem, and when he is in that mood - it is not really him who is talking.

It can be very difficult to live with someone with anger problems, but it is not incurable.