Shyness reserach

Interesting that nearly 50% of people report themselves as shy but only 15% of these actually fit an 'official' shyness description - that is that their shyness impacts negatively on their behaviour.

This would suggest that 'subjective shyness' comes from people comparing themselves negatively to what they think of as the norm.

It may be that the stereotype of super-confident, super-relaxed people conveyed by the media leads to overly negative self assessment and therefore impacts on their opinion of themselves as regards social competence.

Wouldn't it be nice if everyone was a bit more honest ? One of the most releasing things is to realise that almost everyone feels some degree of social anxiety. That way you feel the same as everyone else, instead of different.

Roger Elliott wrote:That way you feel the same as everyone else, instead of different.

Unfortunately, as a shy person, I have to keep my shyness to myself and pretend I'm not as much as is possible, of course, I'm sure everyone can tell (is there any way they couldn't?), but, point is, I'm sure part of the problem is being forced to hide your shyness which in turn makes others hide there's and then that makes other uncomfortable thinking everyone is confident and then that makes them more shy and you get the picture!

I'ma check the link out now, thanks Mark .

Some telling stuff...

What unites the shy of any type is acute self-consciousness. The shy are even self-conscious about their self-consciousness. Theirs is a twisted egocentricity. They spend so much time focusing on themselves and their weaknesses, they have little time or inclination to look outward.

and more

They are quick to become disappointed in relationships, quick to feel rejection, shame, ridicule. They are relentlessly self-defeating, interpreting even success as failure. "They have negative perceptions of themselves and of themselves in relation to others that they hold onto at all costs,"

and back to those basic needs:

Without a circle of close friends or relatives, people are more vulnerable to risk. Lacking the opportunity to share feelings and fears with others, isolated people allow them to fester or escalate. What's more, they are prone to paranoia; there's no one around to correct their faulty thinking, no checks and balances on their beliefs. We all need someone to tell us when our thinking is ridiculous, that there is no Mafia in suburban Ohio, that no one is out to get you, that you've just hit a spate of bad luck.

Good find, Mark!

Kathleen