mute wrote:should I seek help of a life coach or a psychologist in this case?
Should you hire a personal trainer to lose weight and get in shape? You know what actions you must take. Eat healthy and get some exercise. You don’t lack the knowledge. You just don’t want to go to the gym. You just can’t seem to help having that second piece of cake. You don’t understand why you can’t achieve the very simple actions of proper nutrition and exercise. What is the cause of it all? Maybe you should delay, waste more time and pay someone else good money to tell you, “Let me walk around the gym with you and watch you do the work. Let me create a meal plan for you. Let me go shopping at the market with you.”
Sure, personal trainers are an option. It is an industry that provides value to some. There is nothing wrong with hiring a personal trainer. They will not give you a single piece of advice that you did not already know or that you could not have gotten from the Internet. But, it is nice to sometimes have support. It is nice to have another human help with accountability, to outsource keeping you on track, giving you reminders, helping with your motivation.
You are “uncomfortable asking for things”. Create a list of things you want to ask for and then start practicing asking for the smaller things. As you gain confidence in asking for smaller things, then move to bigger things. Practice, practice, practice. That was my previous advice. It is advice that you know is ultimately what you must do, but like diet and exercise you can’t seem to find the courage.
If you go down the path of hiring a life coach or psychologist, they will gladly take your money and ultimately it will get back to the same exercise I have already described. Sure, they may have wasted some of your time having you tell them all about your childhood and they may have even get you convinced that the reason you are uncomfortable asking for things was because of mummy or daddy. You will have a nice narrative crafted to explain why you are uncomfortable and then what will they tell you? That’s right, they will tell you the exact same damn thing I have already told you. If you want to get comfortable asking for things...start asking.
So no, I do not think or encourage you to waste more of your life on hiring a life coach or psychologist. But, I understand if you do. They can take you through a slow, lengthy approach to accomplish the same exercise, getting you to practice asking for things and reflecting on the awful consequences of being told no.
If you do decide to do the life coach/psychologist route, DO NOT hire one online. Do not use a digital, long distance person to help hold you accountable. You will benefit from an actual face to face relationship. That way you have to explain in person why you failed to practice your assigned homework, etc. It will be much more effective.