How can I deal with my emotional intelligence and others?

**Posts:** 2 · by **applesauce** » Sun Jun 01, 2008 7:19 pm

Hi, I just joined here and come mostly seeking help and advice on this topic..

I have found that I have a very developed level of emotional intelligence and that it is often difficult for me to tolerate and appreciate people without this quality of.. feeling, or thinking, I guess you could describe it as. It's not that I am rude to people or have a lack of friends, I just have a hard time spending time with them and enjoying it, and it's near impossible for me to talk to them about problems that I might be having. I continue to get very frustrated with my friends and people around me for things that I know they can't help.

This is why I've always enjoyed talking to and spending time with people older than me, because they seem somewhat more matured and think closer to the way I do. Now all these friends and people I value so much are going off to college, and I know I can't hold on to them forever. This is very difficult for me to imagine my next 3 years of school almost 'alone', because I feel isolated within my own mind.

Could anyone offer some advice or words of comfort on this situation? It would be much appreciated.

**Posts:** 2 · by **CoachB** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 2:58 am

Hi Applesauce
We all are at different levels of maturity, even as older adults. Becoming aware of emotional intelligence will help you as you go through life. If it is difficult for you to tolerate people who are not as mature as you, then you might want to learn more about the second quadrant of emotional intelligence: Self-Management. But I would start with the first quadrant: Self-Awareness. The more you learn about the emotions you have, the more you can relate to others and their emotions. There are many books on EI. You might start with THE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE QUICK BOOK by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves. It gives us the basics of EI without overwhelming us with details. Let us know what you learn and how it has helped you.

**Posts:** 2 · by **applesauce** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 8:56 pm

Thank you so much, I will definitely look into this.

**Posts:** 7 · by **tomyoung** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 2:11 pm

Hello applesauce.

Ive just joined and you sound similar to me. Ive always put it down to being self-honest.

Have you looked at the suggested book yet? Any good?

Tom

**Posts:** 30 · by **AmericanWoman** » Sat Jul 26, 2008 11:27 pm

Hi, applesauce... I like your name

I understand what you mean about becoming frustrated with people who don't seem to know how to relate to others or empathize with others. Perhaps you need to seek out friends whose personalities are a better fit with yours.

This doesn't mean you should drop the friends you have now, but there's nothing wrong with broadening your circle.

**Posts:** 43 · by **curepanicattacks2** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 10:50 am

You sound a bit like my partner actually, and what he's had to do is to find friends with the same mentality as him. I get that it is hard if you are still in school and sort of forced to wait, but there might be some time in your spare time to make friends outside of school. Join a club or perhaps do something creative like writing, painting or sculpturing and meet people that think the same.

**Posts:** 9 · by **junglemonkey888** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 5:56 am

AmericanWoman wrote:I understand what you mean about becoming frustrated with people who don't seem to know how to relate to others or empathize with others. Perhaps you need to seek out friends whose personalities are a better fit with yours.

Well said!

**Posts:** 187 · by **zae50jc** » Wed Feb 18, 2009 8:13 pm

You said you have a "very developed level of emotional intelligence" - it could be true, but you can also test it.

There is an Emotional Intelligence test here: http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_pa ... gTest=1121

"Feeling frustrated", "having hard time spending time with some people" and "feeling isolated within your own mind" might be things that you can improve after you see for yourself in which area you don't score that well :-)

.

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