Why do I get angry when my kids have an accident

Because it's unbearable to have to take responsibility for a creature, who does not know how to speak, does not know speak, does not know how to care, knows nothing. You have to start from scratch.
Surely you are a first-time mother and maybe that will help you to value better what your mother did for you
Welcome to the world of mothers and fathers, It is very difficult, Has a lot of worries, few joys, many bitterness
And if now it is difficult, what to say of the adolescence when the children begin to be rebels..God bless you.
I don't want to be extremist, But I have to be clear, It is very nice to have a child, you can feel much love, but it implies a great responsibility, Inculcate values from the beginning, encourage them to practice sports, to be good people, to be interested in developing their different types of intelligence such as musical, artistic, sports, mathematical logics, social, helping that person to develop their maximum human potential
Because it is in your hands, the care of the future of humanity, At least part of the future of a small part of humanity. Who knows, your son when he is big may be a great doctor, and maybe he can save many lives
It is not necessary to have that expectation, it is sufficient that he grow up and be a good and happy person
Your son is a mystery, who knows who he was in his past life, sorry, but in that sense I believe in past lives and in reincarnation, I read many books by Brian Weiss, a psychiatrist, who talks about those issues
Perhaps you can read a book on how to be a mother and raise a child. It is very valuable to read the experiences of other people

Inquiry Why Do I Get Mad At My Kids

Mavericky wrote:I'm interested to know why I lack empathy and immediately get angry with my children when they have an accident (like falling off a chair which leads them to cry). I get angry straight away and say it was their own fault.

Dear Mavericky,

Hi. Welcome to the Forum.

I do not believe for an instant that you lack empathy. But empathy is an emotion that comes out the best when we are sitting back and being calm and reflective. But you are a Parent of very young children, and I suppose you are also saddled with many other responsibilities, and so you are keyed up, stressed out, and I could bet you are always in a hurry – going from one task to the next. So when a child has an accident, well, it Screws Up your scheduling and you become instantly Frustrated. But What Actually Causes your Lashing Out Anger Problem is ADRENALINE.

Now let me explain that: If you have been Stressed Out, and not getting nearly enough sleep, your Body may feel that it is in a kind of Danger Zone, and while you may not always be having a Full Blast Adrenaline Rush, you may be living from moment to moment on small Adrenaline spurts, which keep you awake, alert and active. It would make you feel kind of ‘Speedy’, but not in a good way – it would make you feel irritable. You would snap at people for getting in your way or interrupting your work.

But if you add a Sudden Loud Noise – a crash of a chair, or a plate hitting the floor, followed by the wailing of a Baby, well, you could expect a Full Blown Adrenaline Rush. Well, let me tell you that it takes YEARS for Special Forces Troops and Martial Artists to learn how to Think Clearly while under the influence of an Adrenaline Rush (Adrenaline actually helps with Muscular Reflex and Coordination, and so it isn’t all bad). But for ordinary people an Adrenaline Rush simply unleashes Emotionally Hostile Aggression. In your case, you yell at your kids. The Reaction is SO over the top and disproportionate that it worries you and you write in here for Help… and that proves to me that it is Not Like the Normal You… it is Adrenaline at work.

Now, There Is Something You Can Do About This. Now listen carefully… Because of where the Brain is and where the Adrenal Glands and Blood Arteries are, the FIRST Sign of an Adrenaline Rush is in YOUR JAW MUSCLES CLENCHING, that is you Clench Your Teeth. Have you ever heard of people talking about their “teeth being on edge”? Well, that is what they were talking about. NOW, if you can Feel It when you Clench Your Teeth – IMMEDIATELY UNCLENCH THEM! For some reason, if you Unclench your Clenching Teeth, it sends a Signal to the Adrenal Glands to Shut off the Adrenaline.

This may sound too easy and kind of magical. But this Advice has Helped People. It Works! BUT, you Have to Catch It, and catch it quickly! A Full Blown Adrenaline Rush hits Full Steam in just a bit more or less than 2 seconds. But it only takes a Fraction of a Second to Feel your Teeth Clench, and then to React by Unclenching Them. You might have to Experience it a Few Times. Watch Yourself. You Will See that Before you Yell and Cuss and Stomp your Feet, or whatever you do, that The First Thing That Happens Is You Clench Your Teeth. So just Learn to Catch the Moment and Unclench them as soon as you feel it. It will keep you from Losing Control. It really will.

Let me know if you have any questions. Again, welcome to the forum.