Why AM I.

oh hi i am like 15, I have very bad issue, like a problem. I run and run, simple. For example, when I write, I don't have to use myself but just to put the words in so it's easier. So I write, I don't talk or I'll cry or find something to help me. HELP me to have intimacy, that is what they call finding comfort. I know the internet, they make you scared of yourself. They make you want to SCREAMMMMMM! And I want the police to protect me but I imagine it as if they were with me, because police save. I am 15 years old, but I think I sound like a 3 year old and I cry about thinking. Thinking makes me cry sometimes, even when it's about helping myself. I hate YOU! I AM ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY **** YOU **** YOU, okay im sorry, so sorry for doing this i can't think or else it will make me like "sadist" but i have conscience. Inside my mind, I used to feel like a normal person but now I am just very odd oddy od, very odd. Ever like torture lol, but i have conscience. Very odd, please, I cannot stop thinking because when you think you cannot stop thinking. It is pain, so harsh like a giant man and he push you in everything but you don't know what to do because he is not real! So how does it even work? I don't know maybe police, maybe pychology expert. I so isolated, i so awkward, school and family is trouble, opinion does kill have you see popular people like amanda todd? Oh, she die feel sorry for her. Oh god, not me! I feel deadlike brain dead . i feel like i am chased by something everyday that will kill me if i don't be good enough like its so terrible now it has been so long and now i just do what just?

Oh, did you ask how i even put this into practioner lounge? maybe it's like puzzel you know, it's.... idk, just DIE---die die die. You want life story? Okay, maybe here: woke up when 4 years old in car at night on hiigh way and can't remember anything before and I even question about it at the time. I remember my first relationship in melbourn with a toy owl from salvation which I call Moo Moo after my I have chat how owl make noises. And then the rest is just shut the **** up you have to ask me because i am maniplated by you, i am just 15 adloscence youth whatever you wanna call, pre adult, you whatever. I am smart, I don't take alter ego, I take the emotion face on hahaha and then i become empathy again. fUCakmowHS)efu9.

fucj **** **** MY f***ing MITHER f***ing TALK TO ME A MOMENT AGO! SHE TOLD ME GO SLEEP I FICKING HATE SLEEP SLEEP TAKES YOU TO SCHOOL SCHOOL,...school school schol.awduf
[k.! !!wait a moment!!! I'm not stupid....i'm like fraidy cat but fraidy cat achieve goal himself. i cannot because i am very good at thinking about it and it turns into empathy. haaah,

Okay, I DON'T HAVE SCHIZORPHERNIA! I AM NORMAL HUMAN WITH VERY BAD SENSE OF PRESERVATION BUT GOOD SENSE WHICH IS WHY IT f***ing HURTS. HAahahaha, no, i'm not that angry at you, i'm angry at you and myself 90 percent. I deserve your love, i deserve your intimacy! But i'm not poetic, i read and play and think....i am nothing more.. i want to be archaologist since you. It's my thinking, I have fast pace good thinking, or maybe mania turn into thinking idk.

HUman construct lol, why you so bitchy **** YOU I WISH YOU WERE A f***ing cat or something I f***ing PULL YOUR THOAT SIDE FOM SIDE FUk. Okay not so bad, okay how long am i gona type for? Just stop. I j

I want to be