INTRODUCTIONS

**Posts:** 30 · by **wonkymirror** » Mon Mar 27, 2017 8:15 pm

Hi there,

apologies for creating a new post just to introduce myself, but I thought other "Newbies" might like to post on here too. I was looking at all the topics and, sadly, a number of them do apply to myself, so you may see me bounce around from topic to topic.

I'm going to use my middle name- Alicia, and my real age... ARGH 31, this is only important in so much as my boyfriend is 6 years younger than me PROS AND CONS APLENTY!

I am here because although I have always suffered with low self esteem, I'm getting to a point in life where I really thought I would have my sh*t together, and it seems that feeling ugly is starting to creep back into my life and take over, to the point it is getting boring.

I am lucky enough to have a boyfriend who loves me and tells me I am gorgeous all the time. But I have recently started a job working at a clothes shop where the girls are not only stunning, and much younger than myself, but are very self assured and cool- and I have never once been cool in my whole life, I will forever be a nerd.

It has brought back ALOT of struggles that I thought I had dealt with growing up, I honestly thought I had made peace with how I looked and who I was and stuff- but now I feel like my teenage self again when really I should be embracing my thirties.

I suffer from mild depression, and feeling unattractive and socially inept are big triggers for me and it is something I want to try and face, hopefully with some guidance and understanding,

Thanks for reading!

**Posts:** 221 · by **federico91** » Tue Mar 28, 2017 4:15 am

I think that when we are young our esteem depends on our body, but as we grow, our esteem depends more on what we do, on our personality, which can be improved day by day, Helping people in need is very positive for esteem, because it helps make one feel better human being, better person, attending a foundation can have a very positive effect, Sharing time with friends, family, doing things that one likes can also be very good for being better

**Posts:** 30 · by **wonkymirror** » Tue Mar 28, 2017 6:08 pm

That is very true, I think esteem is based on more than what I look like now I am older, but in certain respects that makes it harder? I have made a resolution with myself to make more plans with my friends, because I think if I didn't force myself into these social situations then I probably would stay home with my boyfriend all the time and I appreciate that isn't healthy.

I don't think anyone ever tells you just how hard it can be to forge friendships in adulthood. Especially for someone like myself that is a weird amalgamation of introvert with extrovert bursts and a very dry sense of humor . I'm not everyone's' cup of tea.

**Posts:** 221 · by **federico91** » Tue Mar 28, 2017 7:01 pm

Having good friends was always difficult, It is not important to have many friends, what is important is the quality of friendships, It all depends on the personality of each person, if a person likes to travel, surely, what suits him is to have friends who have the same tastes, But if a person likes to be at home, in time he may find a friend with that same taste, with that same personality

**Posts:** 30 · by **wonkymirror** » Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:25 pm

I do think I am going to have to force myself out of my comfort zone in order to meet some new people, which is not a problem- I can be brave when needed. In terms of the self confidence I do think part of it is still based in my appearance, which feels so trivial but all I can do is try to make the best of myself, I count myself lucky that I have a supportive partner!

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