CREEPY family relative...seems like only i see it..

**Posts:** 456 · by **QueenBeauty?** » Fri Feb 28, 2014 5:37 pm

There is a person in my family in her mid twenties who I find kind of weird. I am not the only one thinking she is weird and creepy. Many people ho say her pictures on facebook or saw her in person from my friends or my husband say that she is creepy. It's the way she smiles. Think about Coraline's other mother smile if you type on Google. It's a big smile that appears fake. She doesn't smile with her eyes, only her lips. It seems like a emotionless smile she uses in pictures, when she is with friends or family events. It looks very fake and creepy. I am very curious about her because she isn't necessarily a good person. She doesn't forgive easily and appears as being cold toward the people she doesn't like by ignoring them etc. Her parents used to force her to do things she didn't want to do like having good grades all the time, forcing her into activities and into social groups. It appears as she had a lot of things to do and her parents were making her grow up too fast for her younger days.Her parents are cold and very competitive. She is always out of the house and she drinks a lot with her friends. She hangs out with people who match with her. We used to hang out and be friendly with each other before she became cold to me for a silly reason of me not agreeing with her opinion. Anyway I wonder if you guys can give me a opinion on her behavior of always smiling excessively despite her parents who seemed to make her unhappy by forcing her all the time into doing different things like a robot in her youth. Toward many people i know she appears to look very preppy and fake. Always smiling excessively on every pictures and in real life. But she is very gossipy and hangs out with gossip girls like her. How come she has lots of friends? Me when I was smiling all the time like that and showing my kindness and happiness people thought I looked fake and didn't like me. But how come her she has lots of friends and pictures of her with lots of people in lots of social events and it seems like no one sees through her fake smiles? I am telling you guys I used to hang out with her and she is a gossip girl and hangs out with gossip girls. Maybe that's why she can find lots of friends...because she gossips and acts fake like them? It's just creepy how she smiles and has so much friends at the same time her friends and her look very fake. What are your opinions on that type of behavior she has? How can being fake gets you lots of friends?

**Posts:** 10113 · by **JuliusFawcett** » Sat Mar 01, 2014 7:23 am

We are all trying our best. She is smiling and people like that, maybe she has other friendly attributes, maybe she compliments, encourages, praises, or is grateful.

**Posts:** 456 · by **QueenBeauty?** » Sat Mar 01, 2014 8:06 pm

Maybe she is a butt-kisser and tries to appear very nice and innocent to anyone. Because I remember her being very gossipy and insulting people behind their backs at different events. She only hangs out with superficial people like herself and looks down at people who aren't matching with her kind of people.

**Posts:** 10113 · by **JuliusFawcett** » Sat Mar 01, 2014 8:31 pm

But you have forgiven her, right?

**Posts:** 456 · by **QueenBeauty?** » Mon Mar 03, 2014 6:39 am

No I haven't forgotten her. I just am confused and sad over that whole situation. We used to get along and she just ignores me even though I tried to talk to her and I actually sent her apologies and compliments, but just because we didn't have the same opinion she decided to not be nice to me anymore 6-7 years ago! I showed maturity toward her by saying my apologies and her refusing them. It's a person who hangs out with very preppy people and gossipers. A person that goes out with boys because they match her appearance. She wants to pretend to everyone she is nice considerate and calm, but I know she isn't because when we used to talk together she still was the same except not mean toward me and she was doing nasty stuff behind her parents backs.

My question is how do mean people get friends? I see those business people or preppy people having all the same types of friends. I see for example girl bullies. They often hang out with the same type of girls and you see them looking strangely at other people and gossiping really mean stuff even older women. For men some of them become very social, but also veryrude and show off and they have lots of friends, but again the same type of friends, but they want to make themselves looks like they are nice and considerate. It's very strange I always found. Why don't I have many friends? I am not a mean person I often let people go in front of me and compliment smile and stay enthousiastic..so why I don't attract nice people like me? I have very little friends, but I see gossip girls and mean people having lots of friends fooling the public that they are nice , but they aren't nice.

**Posts:** 10113 · by **JuliusFawcett** » Mon Mar 03, 2014 7:19 am

To get more friends we become more friendly. Smile, hug, compliment, praise, be grateful, encourage, bless, forgive, accept, support, appreciate, approve, give a gift and release the need to criticise ourselves or anyone else out loud or internally.

**Posts:** 45 · by **Hani** » Mon Mar 03, 2014 1:29 pm

I don't think it's entitely her fault, and she's not to blame. It seems that her surrounding atmosphere affected her deeply and she has become that way to 'survive' in the best way she can. It may not be the way others may want of her, but she's doing her best under the circumstances.

Her parents did the best they can, the way they can. Them being forceful, demanding, cold and highly competitive affected her negatively, it seems.

She needs to be loved, to be forgiven, to have an understanding friend who can guide her to love.

**Posts:** 456 · by **QueenBeauty?** » Mon Mar 03, 2014 4:27 pm

Thank you Hani. Yes she needs better surroundings, unfortunetly she is already an adult and she grew up into a person that I think she might stay for very long because she has lots of friends, but I don't even think they are real friends because she used to tell me that at school she needs to be like the crowd and she does what her friends do. Her mom used to treat her friends just so they come back and keep her as a friend. I know it has to do with the parents a lot because the difference with her parents and my parents(even though mine have problems that affected me) My parents never pushed me to compete or to be the best and better than everyone else. They told me never to compare myself to other people or to show off all about me when I am in social crowds. Her parents were always telling her to go show of to us in the family about her latest gadget, cellphone or big expensive stuff they bought her. Her parents came to my little brother asking why my dad didn't get him a new cellphone in a very sarcastic way and he always tries to make others feel bad about themselves.So their daughter learned primarly from that : showing off, trying to be the best and being a backstabber. At this point my problem is that I seem not to let go of the past. I mean I sometimes keep on remembering memories from the past when people go along and were in touch with their human sides. Now many of my cousins grew up and have their own careers and they seem cold, snob a little and unhappy when they see me. I know I am the only one that isn't cold and I smile a lot and never insult anyone and it seems like instead of appreciating a person like me, they get annoyed at that. I've heard of that famous proverb that says : ''People don't like you when you are happy because of their own misery'' I got cousins that materially have it all and lots of friends and they still are cold...could it be because they know they have fake friends and they don't appear as free as I am?

**Posts:** 10113 · by **JuliusFawcett** » Mon Mar 03, 2014 4:36 pm

Comparing yourself to others can never bring you happiness, you can concentrate on being the best you that you can be, put your energy into being a great friend to everyone you meet and your life will improve massively.

**Posts:** 187 · by **Fackeffaced** » Tue Mar 04, 2014 4:08 am

Did she hurting you or any other person?

**Posts:** 456 · by **QueenBeauty?** » Tue Mar 04, 2014 6:45 am

Yes. She broke a perfect family relationship and friendship. She ignores me completely whenever I see her in family events and when I sent her in the past my apologies she didn't write anything back or said sorry too. The fight in the past happened all because I didn't have the same opinion as her on a silly subject. She should know that in life we don't have the same opinions and we should respect each others different opinions. Anyway recently I sent her a message to tell her how pretty she is and how happy I am that her sister got accepted in a good school. I complimented her saying she is beautiful. She saw the message because it could show me that the message have been read, but she didn't answer a little thank you or anything at all. She completely ignores me whenever I see her and my messages. But she doesn't delete me as a friend on facebook. Why would she want to stay friends on a social media and still ignore me. My mother thinks it's because she might wanna spy on me from time to time and tell her parents how am I doing in life with my pictures because her parents are very competitive.

**Posts:** 10113 · by **JuliusFawcett** » Tue Mar 04, 2014 7:15 am

You can let it go, you are trying your best, you can't change the way that she thinks, she is the only thinker in her mind, she is trying her best also.

**Posts:** 187 · by **Fackeffaced** » Tue Mar 04, 2014 8:55 am

So it's not your problem, the one who should blame is not you. She is the type who never forget and forgive.

**Posts:** 456 · by **QueenBeauty?** » Tue Mar 04, 2014 10:26 pm

i like your reasonning Fackeffaced. You are right about that opinion of yours. I feel like I am running after people like her and it makes me look bad. It makes me look like a low confident person that lacks attachment and that runs after people. It makes me feel this way. It's bad. A good friend of mine told me to never run after people who run away from me. The best thing to do is to forgive and forget about them. Not by going to them and asking them why they don't talk all the time after few tries. I want to sound and look mature for myself and others. On the social media, I am messageing the ones I haven't spoken to in a while and saying a nice hello to them and wrote them it's been a while since we spoke and asking how are they doing. Under the msg it indicates if they saw the message or not. So like this I will know who to delete from my friends list and who to keep. If someone doesn't show interest in me or seems to want to talk to me even though I ask them good questions how they are doing and been nice to them. I will no longer keep people on social media but also in my life that ignores me and dislike me. When I see them in person and I know they don't like me I will act as if I forgotten completely about them to make them feel ignored and like I have better things to do in my life and they are not part of the ones I remember. It's the best way to be. Especially to people who mean bad and want me to be down all the time.

CREEPY family relative...seems like only i see it..

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

#10

#11

#12

#13

Main Menu

Public Speaking Resources

Recent posts

Active topics

Contact Us