Cant help myself

Well done, you have started to seek help and are probably closer to it than you realise.
Maybe I could make a suggestion ?.............change the word "can't " to the word "won't" this can have the effect of reminding us that what we do, even if we don't like it, contains an element of choice.

Regards

Hi bottler

Sounds like you are struggling to hold things together and not finding it easy. When did your folks split up? Are you living with either of them? Can I ask how old you are? All these factors could be affecting your temper.

Don't despair, you can overcome this!

Kathleen

I am 16. My parents split up around a year ago and i am now living with my dad. My dads great he will do anything for me, but my mum is just a living nightmare. She always makes out that im some brilliant human being that wont do anything wrong to her friends and that we get on great, but the truth is we argue all the time and she makes me the angriest of all she always tells me to behave when al i do is laugh and if i stand up for myself to other people she shouts at me for hours on end and wont stop. Untill i walk out and walk back to my dads.
We have had counciling but my mum wouldnt listen and thougth i was just bein stupid and should grow up. It didnt help one bit.

Hi bottler!

Well, that is a tough situation for you to deal with, and I am sorry to hear that the counselling didn't help. Sounds like your Mum's attitude isn't that helpful either. Maybe it would be a good idea just to stay away from her for the present?

Meanwhile, this uncomfortable situation is probably causing you quite a lot of stress, and it is not surprising if this comes out in angry outbursts. One of the things which can help is just accepting that things are in a mess, and that it's not up to you to sort it all out, or fix things for your Mum and Dad. And it can help if you look for ways to really relax yourself. Do you do any sports or anything like that? It's really lovely in your part of the world - do you get out and enjoy the scenery? What's your favourite way to relax?

Kathleen

I used to do some horse riding, but my horse got ill and had to be put down. Iv asked my dad if i can start doin kick boxing to vent some of my anger and he says he will look into it. But that was about 4months ago. I have looked around but there is nothing local that i can get to simply. Im going to the station today, im gettin a final warnin. Im really worried as if it goes too badly it could mess my whole life up, just because i coudlnt control myself. I dont know wat to do with myself right now.

Hi bottler!

Good luck at the station! You could ask there whether there are any anger management programmes for young people that you could be referred to - if you tell them that you would like to get help for this, it will make a good impression.

Sad to hear about your horse! As to the kick boxing or other sport, why don't you go to your nearest sports centre and find out what they have available, and maybe get some leaflets? Then you can show them to your Dad and get his help to get something organized.

Let us know how it goes at the station.

Kathleen

Sorry i took so long to reply.
It was alrite at the station actually, not much happened they read out my final warning got me to sign a few things and that was it. They said that the youth council will call me up and evaluate my situation and then decide whether i need rehabilitation or not. In some ways i wish i do have to as it will help me alot, but then im scared about and not too sure what to expect from it. Im going to start going to the gym with my step sister hopefully that will stop me getting bored and feeling like to have fun i need alcohol. Also i got a boyfriend last weekend hes great and hes knows all about what happened, so hopefully i will start to change my life now. I can only hope!

Hi bottler! That's great news!

When you hear from the youth council, why don't you ask if you can have some help, rather than waiting for them to decide whether you need rehabilitation? I've noticed that things generally work out better for people who are proactive and ask for things rather than waiting for things to be handed to them (which they may not like! )

Lovely to hear about your fella! Sounds like you have got off to a great start there! Maybe the two of you can discuss how you will handle it when either of you gets worked up about something (which is bound to happen some time, isn't it?). Then you can work out what works for you!

Good to hear that you are going to the gym. There is no doubt that exercise helps us to stay calmer.

Let us know how you go!

Kathleen

Hi again,
The Youth Council still hasnt contacted me, but im sure they will soon, well hope they will.
Im still with my boyfriend hes helped me alot, everytime i get angry he manages to calm me down, hes great. Still going to the gym and have started seeing my real sister alot now which is great as she understands me and knows most of the time whats going on in my head. Because of my sister iv made alot of new friends and at the moment im very happy. But im still worried about whether one day im just going loose my rag again and the whole thing will start again and im hoping that i dont loose my boyfriend as that would upset me alot and then i wont have him to keep me calm.

Bottler.