Dont know what to do

Hi there, was looking around the net and needed to tell someone or some people about what is wrong.

This may be long and in a very random order but its what comes to my mind at the time im typing so please bare with me.

Basically, I feel angry a lot of the time. I dont know exactly why. I spend a lot of time working on my computer and playing games...quite secluded from society. I know this is a problem a lot, but i do try and get out now and again. I recently had a big argument with my dad and ended up knocking him out...felt bad about that. Had a big argument with my mum punched a hole in the door. I have a lot of conversations with myself (and someone els), usually my mum, dad or someone who has pissed me off...i have arguments with them and speak as them...apparently this is healthy my councillor told me it relieves some of the tension..but then im doing it all the time. I play games on the computer, competitive games that i sometimes lose and sometimes win, when i lose i get very nasty online and type in really horrible things.

My friends say that im a nice guy and that I get on with people well, but they dont really know this side of me. I keep a lot contained. At times when people feel like they are talking down to me or make me feel stupid...i think if i reacted when they were speaking to me i would bite their head off and so i just keep quiet a lot of the time unless im feeling particularly angry at the time.

People say im chilled out and I do feel it from time to time, I want to be more social but feel like i cant. Im getting a place of my own soon so im hoping the arguments with my mum and that will stop. But i honestly feel i dont care a crap if i ever saw them again. Im thinking of going overseas to study and wouldnt care if i saw any of them again..i didnt miss them much when i was away for a year and im wondering if i have very repressed emotions, cause it feels like it sometimes.

I dont think ive really come to a point with this text, but i just need somewhere to turn to...i saw a councillor for 10 weeks which helped a bit, but not much. I have a low self esteem too i think, although i think i live in denial about that unless im opening up like now.

If anyone can help or put me in touch with an organisation or anyone please do...im fed up with feeling like this.

Theres a lot more but i wont go on anymore