I'm 38 I was raised by my mother who was an abusive alcoholic.
She constantly called me ugly and fat and criticized me and spoke badly about me to everyone. She would shout and be extremely verbally and physically abusive she never showed me affection and told me once I was her favorite child but not anymore .She would.always shout and publicly humiliate me.
She never acknowledged my accomplishments only focused on negative aspects like my learning difficulties.
I have struggled with low self esteem and confidence I cant stand to have my photo taken as I look grotesque and see myself as some weird looking alien so never have photos with my children
I can't stand my reflection in the mirror and try to avoid it .
I struggle to have healthy relationships as I always end up attracting people with the same traits as my mother who end up having abusive traits and drinking issues.
My mum passed away 5 months ago we weren't on speaking times and I've been very angry and bitter over the way she treated me and the damage its caused me .
I dont know how to build myself up or even be able to look at myself in the mirror and be happy with the person I am.
How to find some peace now she is gone.