I am 14 years old, and for the past year, I suffered from Anorexia Nervosa.
I'm getting better now. I've gained most of my weight and I've been trying to keep a positive attitude.
I was doing really well for a month or two, but after something that happened at school, I fell back into negativity.
I am still eating and I am determined to keep on eating well, but the problem is that I can't seem to forgive myself.
For what?
For anorexia.
It's my fault I got anorexia, and I can't seem to run away or hide from that fact. It haunts me everyday, because I did that to myself. I ruined myself. I don't have my period anymore, and I feel like I might never get it back. It's all my fault. I killed that happy little kid that I once was. Now, I'm nothing, and I can't forgive myself for what I've done. I just can't, but I know I need to.
I've tried to tell myself that it's not my fault that I ended up like this, but I know it is. If I wasn't so emotional, I could have been okay.
I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so lost. I feel like I am overreacting, but the guilt constantly nags me and I can't make it stop. All I want is to be happy again.
Has anyone else experienced this? What can I do? How can I be happy?