Is there light at the end of the tunnel? - Weed PAWS

#15

Postby PAWnorama » Sun Feb 06, 2022 7:40 pm

Hi everyone,

so today is 8 months sober from weed. Another milestone to which I was looking foreward to and told myself "everything will be back to normal by then". Things are honestly fine by now but still ways away from normal. The earworms are a constant companion, although I think they are a combination of withdrawal and awareness. They might have started from some sort of imbalance in the brain but now I am so convinced that there has to be one kind of lyric or another going around my skull that I conjure them every undistracted moment. I can live with the situation by now, but I would still be happy if it went away by itself. On a brighter note, I haven't been anxious or depressed in quite a while now. So I got this going for me, which is nice.
To conclude, what I think about a lot and became like a mantra, when I want to repeatedly think about something instead of the earworms, is "It is what it is and what it is, is ok".
Enough rambling, I wish everyone going through this shitshow called PAWS (beginning, middle, end) a lot of power and sympathy and the knowledge though it takes forever, time is on our side.
PAWnorama
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#16

Postby PAWnorama » Sun Mar 06, 2022 1:04 pm

Hi everyone,

so 9 months update and since uncommonforum is going to close down, this will probably be my last. Which is fine since I think I need to move on anyway and not keep dwelling on the subject.
What can I say except that not much has changed, I clearly experience days with more agressive earworms and uneasy feelings and more lighter days in between. So the wave window structure a lot of people here talk about seems to be true. Although even in my windows the earworms are never gone just more managable and I can get absorbed into stuff more easily where I forget the issue completly. That is why I also think that time will not be the only solution to the problem, though it helped. But I have to learn to shift my focus from the inside to the outside and beeing trapped in one's own mind for such a long time now, I don't think it will be an easy task.
On the bright side again, if I look back at my posts from half a year ago and remember how I felt at the time, things have definately improved and I'm latching on the hope that this trend will continue. But I'm not 100% healed yet, whatever that means. I made peace with the idea that this will take 2 years or more, because I learned to cope with it throughout the day. Nights are still a bit difficult, but soothing music or audio books help immensly.
Although the forum is going to close soon, I want to share what helped me and what didn't. So what helped was
- exercise and lots of it, doesn't matter what, cardio or weight lifting, I'm not certain about the chemical progress going on but beeing absorbed into sport let's you take a much deserved break from what is going on and helped me sleep a lot better
- Wim Hof breathing, I was a huge sceptic about all this kind of meditation stuff and I'm still way to impatient for this "clearing your mind, breath in breath out" stuff (although I'm sure it can help if done correctly) that is why Wim Hof was a huge breakthrough for me personally, it is a bit more active and I felt the effect immediatly. After a couple of weeks I suspended the cold showering but come summer I will start doing that aswell again. To be honest Wim Hof breathing is actually one of the few gifts PAWS has given me.
- Fish oil and Vitamin D supplements, again something personal and individual. I've read about fish oil somewhere on this forum and started taking it. Though I did not feel any effect but after reading about the benefits, I continued taking it. Also with the vitamin D, I've had good experiences with it in the past and toned it down for a while but then I ramped up the dosis again and felt that it made an impact, if not with PAWS then with life in general.
- Friends and distraction, I think this one goes without explanation. I was trapped in my own misery for so long that it was just a downward spiral. Spending time with friends, family and gf gave me new hope and much needed distraction.
What didn't help (again this is all very individual and only my 2cts) was:
- alcohol, while drinking things are fine but the next day sh** just hits the fan. I've had the only panic attack in my life after a heavy night of drinking 3 months in. Since then I've had no/little acohol (some wine with dinner on occasions) and no side effect in that regard.
- cbd, after some time I thought that maybe I could smoke some cbd to counteract the damage thc has done to me. After smoking it (and hating the process of rolling to be honest) it send me down a wave the next day. I'm not sure if I had that wave coming anyway and tried to avoid it with cbd.

Anyway, I just want to thank everyone on this forum again for their posts. It has been a huge help and otherwise I would have been lost these couple of months, not knowing what was going on. I wish all PAWS sufferers the best and at lot of patience, since time is the best healer.
PAWnorama
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#17

Postby PAWnorama » Sun Mar 06, 2022 1:05 pm

And I forgot one thing.
There is light at the end of the tunnel! I can see it, it is just a little further down the road than I hoped.
PAWnorama
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Posts: 29
Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2021 7:47 am
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