Im single, what im feeling is hard to explain

Calm down.
I don't think you are bipolar. You're just a little affectionate about that stuff.
Of course you are sad about having lost a girlfriend, but that's no reason to give up. And well, a relationship will develop if you just give it time. Let it be.
Don't be uneasy about it. Don't worry. You've had experiences, and that should help you.

you hate something you also love? tricksy. I guess you must figure out why you feel edgy and not relaxed. In every relationship you have with someone you set 50% of the mood. In other words, you control 50% of your destiny with a person. If you flip they will flip more. If you're cool... then they will be cooler.

The trick here lies in seeing past the battles into the future of a relationship. Its a leap of faith. You have to "believe" that they will come around eventually. Your problem I think lies in that trust. You don't trust people that they will hang it out with you.

Also if people see your weak side, the truth about you and your fears. They tend to understand, because guess what... they relate to that because they are the same. common ground. So even the bad could be good for your relationship. but try and find a female friend rather than a girlfriend.

And then... also know. they are a bit different. Very moody. Enough to make you flip(but its in your interest to not flip with them).

Well Holly, why are you a "punk" (whatever that is.)?

How old are you?
We all have someone whom we admire. Who do you admire and why? Be careful here, because if you are modeling yourself to that person you want him to be a person with high ideals and a successful life.
Imagine what it would be like to be that person. How would you feel?
What would other people say to you? How would girls look at you?

I don't want you to think that this will be an easy mental exercize for you?
It takes some imagination and the ability to "get into the picture" and really feel it as real.